Family Magazine

To Stay Or To Go: Knowing When to End Your Marriage

By Peppertan

Fine china is nice to look at and touch.  Its delicacy speaks of elegance and beauty beyond words.  Marriage is not so different.  Being with someone in good times and in bad can be the most wonderful thing in the world.

But just like china, marriage is fragile and can break when handled the wrong way.  Once the monster of marital conflict rears its ugly head, cracks start to form in your relationship.  You then look back on your wedding day and think that the “I do” should’ve been replaced with, “The hell I don’t, you lousy excuse for a man!”

Conflict can come in different forms.   It can manifest itself in jealousy, personality differences, or may be an effect of external influences such as money or issues with extended families.

Whatever the reason for distress in marriage, it should be solved by communication.  When two people really listen to each other and verbalize their needs, it’s easier to strike a compromise.  Each one then learns to be flexible and make minor adjustments in order to make for a more harmonious relationship.

Sometimes though, things just seem to be too much to bear, that the only seemingly rational alternative is to end the marriage.  So, when and how do you know when heading for Splitsville is the only solution to your wedded woes?

When at least one of you has given up, that’s when it’s time to say goodbye.  There’s no point in begging someone to stay if he or she has firmly- albeit stubbornly- decided to end it all.

But until then, do whatever you can to save the marriage.  If communication is the problem, you can always ask for somebody to mediate.  You can ask a trusted friend, relative or a marriage counselor to help bridge the gap between you and your spouse.  Exhaust all possible means to breathe life back into your dying marriage.

What about the kids?  They should not be the sole reason for you suck it all up and stay in an irreparably broken marriage.  In the long run, your unhappiness will affect your parenting style, and the kids will have to pay the price for that.  If you’re happy, the kids will be happier.

They say that good things come to those who wait.  Even better things come to those who keep an open mind and believe that true love lies around the bend- even after a miserable marriage.  The end is only the beginning.

 


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