Humor Magazine

Tips for Surviving the Annual Family Thanksgiving from Hell

By Midlifemargaritas @mdlifemargarita
Tips for Surviving the Annual Family Thanksgiving from Hell
It happens every year. Thanksgiving with the Fam. Sometimes it takes us months to mentally prepare for it.  We all love our families and it’s only for one day right? But Christmas is just around the corner and then we have to do it all over again? How can I survive it! Don’t worry; here are a few tips to get through Thanksgiving with minimal collateral damage.
PREPAREDNESS:  If you aren’t seeing a therapist, now is the time to see one. Your therapist can even prescribe medication to help you get through this very tough time. Or you can self medicate. It’s cheaper.
ACCEPTENCE:  Just accept the fact that your family is no Norman Rockwell picture. No one’s family is! There is always a crazy uncle, drunken aunt, snotty cousin and trashy sister. Roll with it! Makes for an entertaining afternoon.
PATIENCE: Remember that you can leave right after the pumpkin pie is cut and served. Just hang on to that thought when you are just about to snap and take out a relative or two.
There will always be relatives getting all up in your business too. Just let the comments roll off your back like a duck in water. Some things you might hear:
“How’s your job hunting going Bob?” (Actually means: “All that education you got ain’t doing it huh?”)“You up for some flag football Cousin?” (Actually means: “I am going to beat your ass out there mama’s boy!”)“You still married to Lynette after all these years?” (Means: “She hasn’t left you for your older, smarter, employed brother yet?”)“Did you make this pie from scratch June?” (Means: “If you did I ain’t touching it.”)If it all gets to be too much, just find a comfy chair and pretend to fall asleep. will be over soon.

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