Letters To Idiots That They Will Never Read

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Dear Neighbor from Hell,
I appreciate that you feel the need to own a motorcycle while you are clearly in a mid-life crisis. However, I feel the need to let you know that you do not need to turn on your ‘bike’ and leave it running in your driveway (near my bedroom window) around midnight, until after you have finished watching late night TV. Maybe you can afford to waste gas and keep up your neighbors but you don’t need to flaunt it.
Sincerely,
Exhausted Neighbor
Dear Political Campaign Phone Callers,
You are wasting your time.  I will always pretend to be an under-aged babysitter when you call and NEVER leave a message for the adults in the house.
To the “Architect” who created the Double Drive-Through,
Seriously?  Thanks for that Cluster-Muck.
Signed,
Customer who always gets the food meant for the person who ordered on the other side of the double drive-through
Dear Idiots Who Park in the Fire Lane at the Store,
Are you so freaking lazy you can’t park in a space and WALK into the store? If I find you, I will run you over with my shopping cart.
Sincerely,
The Fat Girl who actually parked in a parking space