The thing about appreciating bad movies is that it’s difficult to be disappointed. On a recent weekend I’d watched a horror film that didn’t sit well with me (or maybe it was the last night’s supper), and I decided I needed to see something else. Something that was free on my streaming service. I’d read about Transylvania 6-5000 someplace, but I couldn’t remember where. The list of stars won me over: Jeff Goldblum, Ed Begley Jr., Jeffrey Jones, Geena Davis, Michael Richards—why don’t more people talk about it? Because even for a comedy it has trouble working. Well, a horror comedy, to be precise. Emphasis on the comedy, which tries too hard. I couldn’t get over the fact that this was a tall guy movie—Goldblum, Begley, Jones, and Richards are all over six feet tall. Usually other actors literally have to look up to them.
Even though it’s a groaner, it’s not without worth. It was filmed in what used to be Yugoslavia when it was rare for anything to come from behind the Iron Curtain. Set in Transylvania, it wasn’t too far off. (Transylvania is located in Romania, of course.) Some of the performances aren’t bad, Davis’ vampire nods to Frank-N-Furter in Rocky Horror, and Carol Kane is fun to watch as Lupi. The male roles are generally the problem. In case you’re wondering, the plot is that two reporters—Goldblum and Begley—are sent to Transylvania to find a story. The locals laugh at them, insisting Transylvania’s a modern country with no monsters.
When the classic monsters do appear, they all have rational explanations. There are riffs off vampires, werewolves, Frankenstein’s monster, swamp monsters, and the mommy. There’s even a mad scientist. The problem is the movie really doesn’t give itself over to either comedy or horror. There are ways to make that combination work. And, as with C.H.U.D., the title put me off. I didn’t know until reading about it later that it was also a riff, but from the Glenn Miller song “Pennsylvania 6-5000.” I’d never heard the song before and was unfamiliar with its title. Rudy De Luca, the director, had worked with Mel Brooks and perhaps if they’d collaborated on this one the results might’ve been better. So, it’s a bad movie. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth watching. Movies like this sometimes serve as an homage to the monsters with whom we grew up, and who even met Abbott and Costello in their own lifetimes. Just be prepared not to take it too seriously and not to laugh too much.
