Things I've Tried Telling Myself Today To Paper Over The Pain of Losing Josh Dugan

1.   His inherent douchiness was getting harder and harder to defend2.   The more weight he’s put on the less I’ve liked him3.   He’s having a baby and look what happened to Lleyton Hewitt when he had a baby HE LOST HIS MONGREL AND WENT TO SHIT 4.   He’s having a baby and will instantly become less cool, more fool5.   He’s having a baby and I am unable to relate to people with babies SO BYE6.   The Ray Lewis tattoo7.   He is constantly CONSTANTLY fucking injured. Why bother packing on all that unsightly extra muscle if you’re still doubling over grimacing in apparent agony twenty minutes into every game you play which due to your underlying flimsiness is actually only every fourth or fifth game anyway? I believe this is what old man Hellier called a Catch 22, although I have not read the book I mean have you no I didn’t think so. 8.   Reece Robinson makes a fine fullback9.   Reece Robinson is *fine* generally10.  His beard I mean why hide the hot especially if its dwindling anyway11.  What was with the boil outbreaks12.  The senior players no longer wanted to play alongside him and by play they mostly mean witness him injure his ribs ankles knees shoulders ego13.  He has a Staffy and in real life I hate Staffys and the men who own them so this was doing nothing for my integrity frankly14.  You can’t polish a turd15.  He’ll always be my Bambi