Diaries Magazine

There Is No Mommy. There Is Only Zool.

By Parentingsmh @parentingsmh

Ever have those days when you think, "if I hear mommy one more time …." 
Well, this was my whole weekend.  From the pre 7 A.M. wake ups, the 103 degree fever, and the pee on my bedroom floor, this weekend was a bear.  I mean really, how much can one person take? 
J couldn't help his sour disposition.  Anyone with a 103 degree fever would have acted the same way.  I felt for him, but it was still difficult.    
Poor guy was just miserable, and a miserable 16 month old, can be down right inconsolable.   
There were times when he just followed me around the house screaming.  No matter where I put him to sit, there he was, quite stealthily for a sick baby, I might add.
Now M "The Button Pusher", he was quite healthy, and um, well, energetic.  Too energetic.   
Oh, and let's not forget mouthy.   
This one is definitely proving to be  quite a challenge.  He back talks like he's in training for some kind of smart a$$ contest; testing out his material on us before the big day. 
"Here's your breakfast", we say.  He replies "this breakfast is yuck, I only like pancakes." 
Interesting how he believed he had a choice.  And so the force feeding began, because we're the deciderers.  Pancakes are good, but we're out of flour, and blueberries, and you'll eat what we give you.
Oh yes, J is still screaming "EAT" at the top of his lungs, even though his breakfast is right in front of him.  My bad, he didn't want that, or the crackers I gave him 10 minutes before that, because now, they're on the floor.J, still screaming "EAT" but won't touch anything I give him. 
But, he will lotion himself with his cereal, because it's good for the skin you know.
There Is No Mommy.  There Is Only Zool.
Maybe lunch at Friday's will make me feel a little better.  Some alone time with M.  Yummy, chicken fingers, just what he asked for. 
There Is No Mommy.  There Is Only Zool.
Huh?  You only want to eat the fries, and a green crayon?
"Aw man, is that pee on my floor?  COME ON!"  
"For crying out loud, M, you're going to get yourself killed doing that, we don't rock the chandelier.  It could fall down and crush you.  Now sit in your seat and finish your dinner".
"Mommy, Mom,  Mom,  answer me".
"There is no Mommy.  There is only Zool."  
"What did you say, Mommy?" 
Hmm, I think I might have said that out loud. 
Yeah, I needed a time out, big time.  The dudes were in rare form and totally operating at higher levels of, um, dudeness.   
Because there is no other word for it.  Not one that I can come up with.  So I wanted to retreat.   
Even if that meant being possessed by some weird dog demon that made me look rocker chick cool, 80's style.  Cause that would be better, at least, at that moment, when my brain hurt.   
But that was the weekend, right?
Just a fluke.  Won't happen again.   
Or will it?   
Oh, please don’t say it will. 

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