The Wayward Daughter

ONE evening, she walked out of her house with the intention of never coming back. She walked and walked until she finally reached the outskirts of the city, gleaming with street lights, house lights, and other lights under the darkening sky. She saw an expansive space of sand and only sand that made up the desert. The sky above this land seemed to accommodate many more stars as compared to the city, twinkling away as the hours of the night gave way to dusk. As she took forward steps, she could feel the city watching her from behind. She felt it calling her, ‘Come back you must! Come get busy in this life I have created for you.’ But she didn’t dare look back for there was more to unfold ahead ...
I have found myself immersed in curious scrutiny in times of happiness and fullness Like a lantern glowing in darkness, spreading light, but flickering like an anxious and fearful prisoner They say you attain happiness with close ones, lovers, friends   While their presence is in proximity and in tune with you But lately I ponder if happiness really is my primary pursuit?   Because if it were, then I have come to realize it is only temporary. What I yearn for is contentment, for I am happy but worried. Accepting but in disagreement, a paradox in itself   Thanking God for what I have, but praying for what there is. *** I fear happiness and love. For when one believes he possesses these, he thinks he has attained fullness He is complete. They think I am ungrateful for all this love and affinity around me That I still seem unsatisfied, still complaining of what I have not. *** I much rather remain in pain and incompleteness. For then you know the worth of what it is that hurts you so much. You are aware and watchful. But in reaching saturation, and fullness you forget what brought you to that glorified state. Overlooking the means and blissfully reveling in the end. I do not desire that. ***
  SHE now walks through deserts and seas, cities and towns, people and customs, routines and habits, time and seasons, uninfluenced and detached.