The Uwe Boll Video Game to Movie Adaptions Pairing: BloodRayne

Some will say Uwe Boll should never make another video game adaptation film. Others will say he should never make another film (seriously there was a Guardian UK poll for whether or not he should retire.) House of the Dead… Alone in the Dark, In the name of a King… Not counting sequels..

Here we have BloodRayne. Imagine Blade, more accurately Blade III, set in Medieval Romania or something.. You have a half vampire have human Damphir.

Sir Ben Kinglesy is the main bad guy.. Think he most likely passed on Cleaver to star in this… We also have notable co-stars Michelle Rodriguez, Billy Zane, and Michael Madsen.

Madsen has never been one to hold back on his opinion or lack thereof, of films he has starred in, stating: “ ….BloodRayne was an abomination… It’s a horrifying and preposterous movie.” Of course this was followed by, “Uwe was fun. If he called me tomorrow and wanted me to be in a movie I would do it.” Billy Zane was noted as saying enjoyed Boll’s decisive directing finding it a refreshing change.

So we have Rayne, the illegitimate child of Sir Ben, who of course makes the mistake of killing her mother in front of her. So she grows up and obviously wants revenge.   There are lots of monks and booby traps killing and what not.

Meat Loaf is also there, why? Because as it turns out, like the Prostitutes Boll hired in place of actors, he came cheap. So we may still not know what he would not do for love, but we know what he will do for money.. Come to think of it Blade III may have been better.. not really sure..

What do you drink to wash the taste of this one out of your mouth? Pilsner Urquell.. not the real Czech stuff direct from the source, the stuff that has been sitting on a shelf in direct sunlight for the past few months (or longer aged would be ok in this case)