The Ten Commandments of Writing (or Do as I Say, Not as I Do)

Thou shalt build thyself a temple to writing
Setting yourself up an area dedicated to writing and free from distractions is essential.  I've almost managed this, I just need a chair...
Thou shalt establish thyself a writing routine
I had one of these as a student.  Much harder to maintain when you have a job, a nagging missus, a whining dog and a tendency to get mortalled at the drop of a hat.  Which leads me to...
Thou shalt not write whilst thou art high
Writing whilst wasted always results in drivel.  Just about everything good I've ever written has been from an idea I've had whilst off my box, but never, repeat NEVER, write whilst high.  Forming ideas is great, putting them down on paper in actual sentences is not.  If nothing else it's bloody embarrassing reading it in the morning.  However...
Thou shalt write whilst thou art drunk
Booze is good to get the juices flowing.  I'm not saying you should always get drunk to write, but it helps.  I'm the worst in the world for editing my first paragraph endlessly.  I find after I've had a few I relax about lexical choices and just let the words flow.  Editing can wait until later...
Thou shalt edit thyself brutally
I think it was Steven King who said it's often your favorite lines that you should definitely cut.  It was definitely him that said to slash any and all adverbs out of your writing.  I hold my hands up for being a wordy bastard.  Hate your work and edit accordingly; you'll love the results.  However...

Thou shalt not censor thyself
Good writing, for me anyway, is about honesty.  Honesty is sometimes hard to achieve when you think you might offend someone.  This is another reason you should get drunk, you'll be less inclined to give a shit.  I'm sure I've offended many people with my writing (my dad refused to speak to me for a month after reading my dissertation!) but writing is supposed to elicit strong feelings goddam it.  I'd rather offend a million people that bore a billion...
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's writing style
Having said the above, there are plenty of people who write in different styles from me who don't need to offend; they entertain.  Ash and Colin are good examples, both of whom share my admiration for Sir Terry Pratchett (I'm currently reading Good Omens by the way - bloody strange you guys were talking about it on Monday) I'd love to be able to write humorous stuff like theirs, however my attempts are, to put it in modern vernacular, 'Sucky'.  Don't try to change who you are or what you're good at.  Love thyself and thy offensive drunken scribblings...
Thou shalt remain ever vigilant in the quest for inspiration
This has been covered earlier this week so I'll just reiterate: go for walks, look for characters in the street, seek out artworks and local legends.  Most of all, read lots.  Read as much as possible and challenge yourself in what you do read.  But please, dear god, PLEASE...
Thou shalt form thy own Canon
Penguin Classics are ace, don't get me wrong.  But not everything with a black and silver cover is worth reading.  Sorry but if I never see another Bronte book in my life it will be too soon.  Nothing wrong with them but I just find them boring.  The Raw Shark Texts by Steven Hall however is incredible.  Read your share of classics but there's plenty of amazing modern literature too - don't be a pompous Lit-fart - read your own path...
Thou shalt worship no other gods than your art
Writing comes first.  Quit your job; go on the dole; stop caning it at the weekend; leave your partner; forgo the football.  Who am I kidding, right?  We all have things that distract.  The most important thing is to keep the passion for your writing at the forefront of your mind.  Always remember you are a writer and define yourself as such.  It's easy to get buried in the mundanity of the everyday but it's the buzz of producing something meaningful out of the daily shite that keeps you sane.  Don't forget everything else is bullshit and you're worth more cause you're a bloody ARTIST beeyatch!
It's not easy.  As I say, do as I say, not as I do.
Thanks for reading