Sex. It’s the great forbidden topic. This extends to the truly staggering number of words that have been coopted, either as slang or circumlocutions, to discuss anything related to sex. The other day I wanted to use the phrase, “finger in the dike.” I was thinking of that illustration of a little Dutch boy preventing a flood from some of my childhood reading, but I quickly realized that it could be construed as insensitive. When I was a child I wasn’t like other kids. Some referred to my interests as “queer,” although I am not a homosexual and am not afraid to admit that I have many friends who are. That word, though, can’t be used without being thought to refer to sex. While this is true of many words that were once slurs, such as “gay” and the whole arsenal of derogatory words associated with denigrating our sisters and brothers, other—more neutral—words also fall into this category.
The sheer number of words we use to refer to our genital organs would stun alien (off-world) linguists, perhaps confirming, in their own minds, the advantages of telepathy. Who isn’t slightly embarrassed when someone introduces himself as “Dick”? I remember a good friend, who happened to be a bishop (now, sadly, departed), who introduced himself to me as “Dick.” (I was a seminary professor at the time.) I had trouble calling him that, although we met on many informal occasions and he even wrote me letters of reference. Sometimes I ponder how sex has become the most talked about stigma there is. I’ve been on a private campaign against stigmas lately. I know this is a fight I cannot win, but still, isn’t it worth talking about?
Probably the most frequently used adjective, among many subcultures, is the f-bomb. No matter how many times we hear it used (and books have been written on it), it always manages to shock. Even the word itself has spun a whole effing set of circumlocutions to refer to the word itself. This is truly a remarkable state of affairs. I’ve studied linguistics enough to know that some topics are like this, but I’m hard pressed to think of any others that reach the level of sex. Many are the times when I want to use a phrase I was taught as a kid that I now have to resist. I had a colleague once respond with open-mouthed shock as I used a word in public that remains perfectly innocent (which is how I was using it) but which could be construed the wrong way. Such is our world. Ironically, you can see sex in the media quite easily. Movies, television, the internet. Just don’t talk about it.
Photo by Gama. Films on Unsplash
