Life is hard.
I know you’re busy.
And sometimes there is barely enough time to catch up on all the Garden State Goodness that is Real Housewives of New Jersey, much less read all the hilarity I keep sending your way.
Once in awhile you might actually even…I don’t know…have to work while you’re at work, and not have the luxury of spending hours slowing down the company’s internet speed trying to catch up on all the crazy shizzle that is going down between the Gorgas and the Giudices. One step forward, two steps back as they say.
I feel your pain. And your anguish.
But fear not, Bravoholics.
Relive the latest episode at Warp Speed. No filler. No fluff. Just the meaty portions.
From all 47 of Teresa‘s girls blowing their nutties in the kitchen to Melissa trying to sell a house with a broken bathroom sink that isn’t even connected to any actual plumbing…it’s all there. Everything you saw. Or thought you saw.
You’ll witness Caroline‘s sister Fran‘s mentally dinged up chihuahua who smells like Fritos (…the dog, not the sister…) as well as Joe Gorga and Chris Laurita playing an uncomfortably manly game of pool that luckily ended before any real man-on-man 8 ball corner pocket action kicked into overdrive.
Even the Pride of the Golden Girls Pride Parade Rosie Pierri is there in her best Boca Raton daywear, talking nasty talk during a No Girls Allowed poker night.
You’ll see Richie Wakile being a total dufus at daughter Victoria‘s nursing school and share in the touching breakthrough moment between Jacqueline and her autistic son Nicholas. Get your hankies ready.
And of course, there’s also Caroline proving that she really meant it this time at last year’s Reunion Show when she said she would never speak to Teresa again.
Because she totally talked to her again, in an oddly evacuated ghost town of a restaurant that got enough free on-screen advertising to recoup any loses from Hurricane Sandy. We get it. It’s the Ho-Ho-Kus Inn & Tavern.
(Spoiler Alert: No table flip. I really miss the old Prostitution Whore Days.)
And you get to see it all in under 2 minutes.
I give you the New Jersey Quickie.
Trust me. It’s everything that trashy girl down at the Mall said it would be.
Enjoy.
Click to view slideshow.
