For starter, why is it a debate? We are who we are - fat, thin, black, white, young, old - why is there a debate on being plus size? That's like having a debate on being old - "OLD PEOPLE ARE PAST IT, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF USING A WALKING STICK". Different types of people exist - why is that such a bad thing?
Jamelia said (whilst referring to plus sizes and size 0) "Yes, have specialist shops but you should feel uncomfortable if you are unhealthy....to be available in every High Street store, I don’t think that’s right.”
Let me tell you a wee story...
As a teenager, I was even bigger than I am now - at one point I was a size 26 and struggled to find anything to wear at events or even for everyday things like school. I remember the fashion at that time was to wear tight tanks and low slung trousers - there was nowhere for me to buy this at my size and I ended up wearing a shirt (that gaped at the bust) and what I can only describe as leggings. Attractive? Not really, I was aware of the fact that I looked different to the other girls and would cry myself to sleep at night over it.
Some people made comments about me, actually a lot of people did but I don't really feel as though I was bullied, because despite those comments, a lot of people were still nice to me, and I figured that as long as I was nice, then they would like me for my personality rather than the way I looked.
The ultimate hurt for me was going to prom. I searched online, I searched everywhere locally, I even traveled to bigger cities to find a floor length prom dress like my friends all had - after searching for about 6 months, I ended up wearing a two piece red skirt and top. I was devastated. Despite my parents and sisters all telling me how fab I looked, I knew I didn't look like everyone else and I became paranoid that people were laughing at me (even though they probably weren't!).
I spent hours crying in the toilets at my prom. My friends all looked so beautiful and I didn't. I felt awful, and that turning point made me obsess about my weight - to the point where I didn't study much, I spent hours on my hair and makeup trying to make face look 'good' to disguise my body. I failed my exams and ended up returning to school for a year to gain all of my grades for going to university (which I've discussed here before).
Since then, I've lost a significant amount of weight, I spent chunks of my life trying not to eat, or looking at diet pills (I never took them). To this day, I am a size 20/22 and still trying to loose weight, but having more clothing available to me has given me the courage to allow photographs to be taken of me, it's given me the confidence to start this blog and make a life for myself. Would Jamelia deny me that just because I'm plus size?
Jamelia, imagine your daughter was the plus size girl who was crying in the toilets at her high school prom. How would that make you feel? Would you do anything you could to find something for her to wear just to make her feel adequate? yes you would! OF COURSE YOU WOULD! It's the RIGHT thing to do.
Think of the girl who is plus size because she has a mental illness or a physical disorder or has to take medication that makes her gain weight. Would you deny her the right to shop at the same shops as you do?
Imagine the girl who has an eating disorder or who is naturally very thin or worse, is very ill and is a size 0 - would you deny her the right to shop like others do?
I would never sit and diss you, make fun or sit in judgment of your life - what right have you got to do the same to others?
I was really disappointed by the plus size debate - it made me question humankind and to be honest, I don't like the judgemental people some of us have become.
Maybe we all should think twice before we pass judgment...
x
