The One Where Eric Ruined The Grand Plan!

S6 recaps reviews

Episode 8 “Dead Meat”

We begin with a face-off scene between Eric and Bill, and it’s a good one. Bill wants Eric to keep his end of the bargain as Bill did everything he could to save Nora (and if you haven’t been watching the previous 5 seasons let’s just say that when Bill offers to help, it usually doesn’t end well). Eric, who has every intention of going back to Vamp Camp, has had enough of Bill whining and would rather lose the dead meat and do it all by himself. And despite the aeriel acrobatics, Eric, for the most part, has the upper hand in this scene. Bill is getting desperate whereas Eric knows Eric will get what he needs one way or another, and Eric can’t resist reminding Bill about Sookie sticking a stake in him.

However Bill has been round Eric long enough by now to know that all he needs to do is to mention the “G” word and Eric’s back down to earth with a bang. Any hopes anyone had of those two teaming up to destroy Vamp Camp together can be put on hold, at least for now.

Over at Werey Headquarters Alcide is challenged by Ricki, who is seconded by Danielle, as they no longer think his balls are big enough to finish them off. Well they should know! It looks like Alcide is finally done with his pack and I won’t be at all distressed if we never see them again.

And then it’s on to Adventures in Vamp Camp.Violet has claimed Jason and for now he can’t do a lot about it, other than try to stay alive. She says she’s not going to rape him and then proceeds to do rapey things. Pam has had a moment with her shrink (couldn’t he be struck off for that?) and blagged her way back into Gen Pop. She reluctantly agrees to talk to Violet about Jason (Level 1 to Level 1) but can’t really be bothered to get into a fight over a human. Forget Charlie’s Angels – we’ve got Eric’s Angels all together now, and I’ll be crossing everything I’ve got that Pam, Tara and Willa all get out un-dead. And whilst we had Eric’s Angels all together in one cell, we had the odd couple in another. James is not necessarily my type of vampire, but he’s not an unwelcome new pair of fangs either, even if the poor guy has to hear about Steve Newlin’s 8th grade wedgies! None of the above vampires are being fooled into drinking the Tru Blood, and by the end of the episode they are all together in the dreaded Sun Room.

Sookie returns to Warlow and asks him for help to save her friends, Warlow is willing to help out………but he has a plan of his own…… that Sookie agrees to be his vampire/faerie bride forever and ever. (Psycho much?) Sookie needs to think about this, because obviously you seriously would. As she leaves the graveyard there’s a viking vampire lurking in the shadows. I know that some fans are upset the writers didn’t use this opportunity to give us a little Sooric scene, but I was actually quite relieved Eric stayed where he was. Now is not a good time for them to have a heart to heart and I fear it would end badly for both. Still whilst Bill is waiting around for someone to bring Warlow to him on a silver platter, Eric, as ever, is immediately pro-active and has already found out where the hybrid is. Warlow should most definitely be extremely grateful that Eric didn’t give a f*ck who he was until episode 8.

The next day Sookie goes round to Bill’s, and if she hoping for some sympathy about her plight, she’s knocking on the wrong door. All Bill now cares about is saving vampire kind. Sookie can’t quite believe this, but he doesn’t even flinch an inch when she reveals Warlow’s side of the bargain. Just like Eric in the opening scene, Sookie holds her own against the prophet of doom (“how about that you motherf*cking monster”).

True Blood’s greatest villian ever, Sarah Newlin, arrives at Camp to discover that some of those pesky fangers are not drinking their blood. Would her ex-husband happen to be one of them? Of course he would. Cue quite possibly my favorite Steve/Sarah scene ever.

Back at Merlotte’s Sam wants Nicole to stay, she’s apparently carrying his pup. His (probably false) proclamations of love are interrupted though by a desperate Sookie who is looking for somebody, anybody, to help her and give her reason not to go through with the deal of life and death. Sookie and Sam share a moment and Sookie informs him (and the viewers) that she pretty much thought they would “wind up together or something”. Really? REALLY?

Bad timing again Sook. Although with Nicole only being 2/3 days pregnant there is a long way to go before a baby is born (and I’m calling that it won’t actually happen). Sam can’t commit right now (not yet, not when there’s going to be a season 7) and poor Sookie is left feeling completely alone again.

Over at the undertakers the Bellefleurs are planning a full military funeral for their fallen son. Arlene wants none of it, that wasn’t the man that she knew and loved. I love Andy Bellefleur this season, and Holly is not doing too bad either. If you’re going to lose your husband, it’s at least a comfort to have both of them and of course the criminally underused Lala right there. Andy will get Rev. Daniels for the funeral and the carnations too.

With nowhere else left to go Sookie arrives at her parent’s grave. I still can’t believe for a minute she will end up actually being turned into a faerie-vampire. If that does happen you can color me incredibly shocked and surprised. But regardless of any outcome, this was one of Anna Paquin’s best scenes for a long, long time. Sookie was filled with emotion and it looks like she has made up her mind to become Warlow’s eternal bride, and save her friends from the true death – because please don’t forget that very important part – Sookie is ultimately doing this to save her vampire friends!

Night falls and the Tru Blood spokesbitch arrives at the factory part of camp. This is very inconvenient for god’s plan and for Sarah Newlin. To make matters worse it seems the spokesbitch is not a fan and this leads to a both ridiculous and amazingly awesome girl-fight scene. In my last review I mentioned the words “high heels” and “Sarah Newlin” twice in the same sentence, I must be a Bill-like prophet because after trying several other ways to kill her foe, Sarah resorted to killer heels to get the job done. I love you Sarah Newlin, you are going to die a horrible death, but please Jesus not just yet.

After leaving a heartfelt message for her brother, Sookie calls Bill and tells him to pick her up in an hour. What’s another 60 minutes for Bill, he messed around for long enough, what difference will one more hour make, to get ready and look your best to save vampire kind? Sookie goes to find the appropriate dress for such a special occasion and spends a beautiful and stunningly shot moment in front of her mirror getting ready for their big dramatic scene.

But whoops! Aren’t you all forgetting something here folks? Now let me think what that might be? ………………….Duh! VIKING!

Rebellious Adilyn is out with Holly’s boys. Whilst Holly’s boy 1 is seemingly out of it, Holly’s boy 2 is progressing very nicely past first base. Unfortunately for boy 2 Eric arrives and thinks Adilyn looks tasty. However, don’t distress because “out of control” Eric has a grand plan, and “nobody has to get hurt here”. The boys are glamoured and Adilyn is merely a means to an end. We even get to see her reunited with her concerned father.

Eventually Sookie and Bill turn up to join Warlow for their big dramatic moment. Warlow will go to Vamp Camp with Bill, Sookie will become eternally his, and Bill will get to save his entire race. It’s all set up for the perfect Shakespearean conclusion. Except someone didn’t read the memo.

For alas, poor Warlow, the Viking got there first.

This is my last recap this year and if the final two episodes live up to the other 8, it may well be my favourite season so far. And I can’t quite believe I’m doing this, but I’m going to leave my very final word to Mr Bill Compton. It’s not a big, fancy word, it only has 4 letters, but it encompasses perfectly all the reasons why I will never, ever be able to quit this wonderful and crazy show……