Have you ever tried to block some of the bad emotions from creeping in? Maybe been at a movie and tried not to cry or had a tough day at work and struggled to keep your cool?
Some of us numb ourselves with food. Some of us numb ourselves in a relationship with another person. Some of us numb ourselves with alcohol. Some of us don’t need anything or anyone to numb ourselves; we just do it so we don’t have to feel the bad emotions so much. But they are still there. Regardless of how or why we numb out, many of us still do it. I have done it. I have masked. I have ignored bad feelings. I have acted like everything was great when it was not.
So what is the one thing I did to stop?
I decided.
I realized that this is a choice.
I consciously nominated myself to stop numbing out and start turning in.
- Listen to yourself, even if you don’t like the tone of what you hear at first.
When I began listening, I recognized all of my emotions.
Including the ones I had been trying to avoid – the super toxic, icky feelings like guilt, shame, and fear. Yeah, ewww.
- Determine where the messages are coming from.
An important step for me was identifying where these bad vibes came from in the first place. I believe that even though I left an unhealthy relationship, my mind was still replaying the poisonous “you are wrong� messages. So I realized I had to split from those, too. And I did.
- Let it out.
When a negative thought crept back in, instead of pretending it wasn’t there, this time, I found a healthy way to free it. By exercising, journaling, or sharing a story with a supportive person, I was able to disconnect from a seemingly overpowering feeling and have a detached, bird’s eye view of the situation.
If I was wrong, I said it. I just admitted that I was doing the best I could with the information I had at the time. Whatever I felt or did, I owned.
Once I dealt with the sentiment, I had the internal drive and freed-up brain space to know the wise, appropriate next step. I took cues from myself instead of from the outside world. This allowed me to focus my great energy on what is really important to me: My family and friends. My career and studying. My responsibilities and adventures.
Major life changes such as a death, marriage, divorce, relocation, buying a new home, having a baby, or changing careers can be disorienting. While your unconscious impulse may be to numb out during a huge transition, keeping your emotions bottled up causes distress on your body. It is vital for your health that you honor yourself. The only thing you need to do is decide that you want to.
What do you think of this concept? Tweet me @kellymc247
