The NFL, Feminism and the War on Women

As the NFL struggles to deal with the Ray Rice domestic violence incident, feminists and liberals have come out in force to decry the violence against women and re-ignite the “War on Women”. The NFL and players have been labeled as sexist, as noted on Huffington Post: “By some tiny amount each one of those things lowers the level of basic human respect for women in sports. And sooner or later, there are so many tiny amounts that the level of basic human respect is gone altogether.”

The NFL has also been labeled as misogynistic according to this feminist, “In addition to the whole ‘One of our teams is named for a racial slur’ thing, the NFL has a culture of sexism bordering on misogyny. There, I said it. And I meant it too. From the cheerleaders for my beloved Oakland Raiders being forced to sue for their pay to the rather ridiculous hygiene rules placed on the Buffalo Bills’ pom-pom wielders, what women have to put up with to be involved with football makes my feminist skin crawl.”

Yet are they selective in their outrage of violence against women and how it is interpreted?

The media is promoting the well-celebrated “Fifty Shades of Grey” – an erotic novel notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism. The “mommy porn” book is being made into a movie that has been described as “tasteful and artistic” and a female actress in the movie has said, “It’s going to be beautiful”.

Controversy surrounds the explicit nature of violence in this novel, questioning whether being submissive sexually is not tantamount to being the victim of abuse.

Of course, liberals deride this opinion and insist that this is a “result of women’s ‘current anxieties about equality’ and that it ‘doesn’t mean that it’s ‘evidence of unhappiness, or an invalidation of feminism,’ …it might actually be a sign of progress that millions of women are so hungrily pursuing sexual fantasies independent of men.” A Huffington Post critic argued that interest in the series was not a trend, but squarely within the tradition and success of the romance category which is driven by tales of virgins, damaged men and submission/dominance themes.

Violence against women can be found on Web sites/Tumblr pages promoting bondage/dominance/S&M/BDSM, which are ABUNDANT. There’s sandmdating.com, bdsmcafe.net, homemadebdsm.com, twistedmonk.com, ropefashions.com, extremerestraints.com, forcedsexvideosites.com, meetbdsm.com, dungeonnet.com, hogtied.com, sadoslaves.com, shadowslaves.com, whippedass.com, shackledmaidens.com, dominatedgirls.com, fuckandchokeme.tumblr, pullmyhair.tumblr, etc.

What is not romantic is the spousal abuse that Janay Rice suffered at the hands of her then-fiancée. The feminists and liberals, as warranted, decried this abuse (and the NFL):

 “The NFL’s stance is clear. It is more concerned about making money than it is about holding men accountable for violent and abhorrent behavior toward women.”

“This violence (against women) manifests from the culture of sexism in football. From the skimpy, sexualized “uniforms” cheerleaders are forced to wear to the denigrating ads during big games from companies like GoDaddy, the message is clear: Women are objects and it’s OK to use, abuse and disrespect them.”

“That is a deal breaker. It should be over. There are things you accept in relationships with people. There are things you accept in partnerships, and on teams. There are things you don’t accept.”

“As Americans grow increasingly frustrated with the way National Football League officials handle incidents of violence against women, the country has been engaged in a national conversation about intimate partner violence.”

“This isn’t just a domestic abuse issue. This is an issue of basic human dignity and respect.”

What about human dignity and respect? I’ve wondered why the feminists are not outraged about the violence that women condone –  women who say “yes” to violence. Does “yes” to violence mean it is acceptable? Does it not send a mixed message? How can one reconcile that “human dignity” and “respect” means acceptable levels of violence? Does this consensual violence not perpetuate more violence against women?

You will find acceptable levels of violence against women all over the Internet. Slapping, scratching, choking, and many other acts of violence that women allow to happen to them. Are these examples of things you accept in a relationship or that you don’t (or that you want women to accept)? Below are pictures of consensual violence that I found on the Internet. NOTE: These are some of the most “respectable” pictures I could post here. Pictures considered porn are not suitable to publish here.

I understand the difference between domestic violence and consensual violence between people in the privacy of their bedroom. What concerns me is the perception that consensual violence against women is promoted and celebrated and is considered “empowering”. This sends a confusing message to men (yes, some men are confused by feminists’ objectives) and to the young women of today: How can a young man or woman decry violence against women while at the same time find violence makes them more powerful?

This type of “respect” and “dignity” is prevalent on Tumblr, especially on teens/young women’s pages. Is this what parents want for their children? For their young teen/woman to be seen as a sexual object or to have them give approval to violence against their bodies? It’s a disturbing trend that shows a level of disrespect for women wrapped in the guise of “empowerment” that I would hope people would recognize as a part of the war on women.

My post does not seek to condone any violence against women. If you or someone you know needs help with domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.

DCG