I am writing this today on Valentine's DayThe Day to Celebrate Love.
This year I come to this daywith a different perspective.
If you have been reading my blog recentlyyou know already that I have been living through the ramifications ofMarriage Betrayal.So Valentine's Day feels different to me today.
Not in a bitterwant nothing to do with the day kind of feeling.
Rather with a deeper understanding of the need ofSelf Lovefirst in a relationship.
In the last three monthsI have done so much Soul Searchingasking myself in so many different waysHow did I ever end up after 30 years of marriagebetrayed.What had happened to the true love that we had both been so strongly invested inwithin our relationship.
And as I have said in my very first post about the betrayalI am in no way saying I had in responsibility in the cheatingbut I am smart enough to knowthat I need to take responsibilityin searching for answersas to how we ever sowed the path to betryal.
It has been a path so dark since the discoveryI often wondered if I would ever get through.Andto be completely honest there are still days full of such darknessbut thankfully they move on much more quickly.
And there is something quite profound with the passing of the darkness.There is often a pristine light of claritythat is revealed in it's aftermath.
One of the true realizations I have hadis the utmost importance of Self Love.
Without Self Love first in a relationshipI realizedI was always looking to my husband for validation on some level.
(and getting so hardened and bitterwhen I didn't immediately get the response I was looking for)When I should have been looking in my own Heart and Soulfor validation and worth.I need to take charge of my own opinion of myself.
Because when we look outside of ourselvesfor worth and validationwe give away our own power and worth.
And put a huge burden on another.
I have realized through this very brutal processthat for me to be truly bring my best version of myselfto my marriageI need to firstpractice Self Loveand Self Care.
I have to find my own inner balance.
I must first come from a place ofLove and Grace for myselfso that I can love others fully.
I have often written here on my blog about Self Care(you can enter Self Care in the search button on the left sideto bring up the various posts)
To me Self Love and Self Carego hand in hand.
One can't fully exist without the other.
I am highly invested in both these daysas I knowmy husband and I have to bring our best selvesback to our marriage if we are going to make it through this devastationonto a deeper, more loving version of our marriage.
Everyday we are making our marriage a prioritydoing everything we canto not only repair the damage donebut to build the strongest, most stable foundationof love and trust going forward.
Self love
is such a crucial building block in this process.
So this Valentine's DayI hope we all realize how very importantSelf Loveis in deep and loving relationships.And the importance in investing in trueSelf Care.Sending out muchValentine Love to each of youno matter the day!
As always my friends
I wish you love and joyas you style your lifeand Crown Yourself
