"I am a failed author." "My writing sucks." "I don't write books to make money. I'm just happy I sell a copy here and there." "I don't have money, so I cannot succeed."
This is the kind of messages I read on Facebook and Twitter every day.
Writers and authors, please stop.
Stop telling the world you aren't good enough.
Stop selling yourself short.
Stop giving others an excuse to disrespect your work and not buy your books.
Why? Because people will always treat you in the same way as you treat yourself.Yes, publisher rejections suck. Bad reviews suck. Poor sales suck. Limited funds suck. Non-supportive friends and family members suck.
But you know what? So do negativity and the constant whining on social media. Twitter and Facebook are public forums: Everybody can see your posts.
(Yes, everybody. It does not matter if you have made your accounts private. All it takes is a screenshot for your content to become public.)
The brain is a fascinating machine. You can train it to believe in anything. You can train it to believe in your self-worth, for example. But it takes time and repetitions, especially when you have been letting negative thoughts guide your steps for a while.
So today, I invite you to start changing your status quo. The next time you feel like venting or ranting to your audience, turn off your phone or computer. Instead, grab a pen and a piece of paper and write your thoughts. Then, do something else for a couple of hours.
When you get back to what you wrote, ask yourself the following questions:
- Why did I need to share those particular thoughts with the world?
- Was there a specific event that triggered them?
- If I were one of my readers, how would I react?
Then, have a look at your last 30 or 40 Tweets and / or Facebook posts. How positive / negative are they? Do you see a pattern? How does it make you feel?
Use your answers to turn the whole thing on its head. Help others who may feel like you did. Show them that there is a good way around.
Here is mine.
During a parent-teacher conference in 8th grade, my English teacher told my mother that I was a lost cause. I struggled so much to learn English that he doubted that I would ever be able to speak or write it properly. He felt that I wasn't smart enough. This is what he said: "In fact, if she ever speaks English well, I will become a priest."
Years later, a university professor laughed at me in front of my friends for saying that I wanted to teach and work in English. "I hope you are kidding! Not with your accent and poor level."
Many people have mistaken my (sometimes extreme) shyness and the fact that I am an introvert for signs of dumbness.
I have used the smirks and comments (they think I cannot hear) as fuel to motivate me to be as great as I could be in many things. Photography is one of them. I spent years learning and perfecting my skills.
I may not be the best in my field, but photography is my jam. (By the way, I was recently featured on a major landscape photography website!)
I also wrote 25 books in several genres. From journalism to translation, teaching and social media coaching, my experience is varied and solid. I also co-founded a poetry journal and a photography collective. And yes, everything is in English.
Had I listened to the naysayers in my younger days, I would have never become an English major. I would have missed great opportunities, including the greatest one of them all: Being an artist and entrepreneur. I have had a wonderful career so far.
The moral of the story: Only listen to yourself.
You are uniquely talented. Believe in yourself because nobody else can do it for you.
Then, watch what happens!
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