Self Expression Magazine

The Ghosts of Christmas Past

By Psychicillumination @psychicdad

The Ghosts of Christmas PastA Christmas Carolis a novella by English author Charles Dickens first published by in December 1843. The story tells of sour and stingy Ebenezer Scrooge’s ideological, ethical, and emotional transformation after the supernatural visits of his deceased business partner Jacob Marley and three spirits. The story remains popular and has never been out of print.

Of course, with a name like Ebenezer, how can one blame the protagonist for being sour and stingy?

Mediumship and interactions with spirits have always been more accepted in Britain than here in the U.S. But I always found it interesting that Dickens, back 150 years ago, weaved a tale of mystical contact into a marvelous story about love and charity.

The Ghosts of Christmas Past
While we may not get visits from The Ghost of Christmas Past, The Ghost of Christmas Present, and The Ghost of Thing Yet To Come, we can and do get visits from deceased relatives and friends more often then we realize. They may not show up as spectacularly as Jacob Marley in A Christmas Carol, but their influence can be felt by the sensitive.

My father’s favorite time of year was Christmas. He was a grumpy, hard, determined, lonely, yet charismatic soul.  Although we were poor, because my Dad was a single father raising my brother and I, he always went all out for Christmas! We had a huge tree, decorations galore and more Christmas lights then I could count.

And we aren’t talking about the modern, small, cool burning lights we have today! We are talking about those gargantuan, power hungry monsters that put out so much heat you could cook your turkey dinner with them just by placing it near the tree! My Dad would fight, cuss, grit his teeth, pout and scream through the hours long effort to put gaudy, bright lights around the outside of the house and garage. I am positive the paint curled under the scalding heat.

Christmas morning was filled with all the wonder of boyhood dreams! However, my father always tortured us by making us eat breakfast before opening the presents! I don’t think I tasted a Christmas breakfast until I was 13 years old because I inhaled the food!  ;-)

My grandparents were first generation immigrants from Sicily. They had so many children and were so poor, that my father grew up in an orphanage in Brooklyn. There was no foster care back then. Because of this, my father always wanted my brother and I to have the best of everything. Without a woman in his life, my brother and I endured countless fashion disasters growing up. But one thing my Dad did very well was adventuresome toys that fueled my imagination as a boy! I cannot think of any toy I really wanted that I didn’t eventually get!

I still remember one year, when I was 8 years old. I wanted the coolest toy on the planet: a Space 1999 Lunar Lander. My Dad’s car was broken down. So he rode 10 miles to Toys-R-Us, in the rain…on my wonky little bike, to get my brother and I one. The toy is long gone, but that example of love and dedication still haunts me.

He had his faults: the typical Sicilian bad temper. He was very charming and knew how to dress well when out dancing to disco music! Whether he intended to or not, my father was somewhat of a womanizer. This was in the ’70s when ‘free love’ was also in full swing. So it was not hard for my father to romance many, many women over the years. Sadly, I never got a good Step-mother out of it.

My father and I eventually had a falling out years later. He was not the easiest person to get a long with, and he raised a very strong willed boy. He was always slightly fearful of my psychic abilities and suspicious of any spiritual path I followed.

I remember getting the psychic information that my father would pass away in a few months. We were fighting and I did not contact him, but I just knew the day he died. My brother called me the next day to confirm it.

Being a Medium, I tapped into my Dad’s state on the Other Side and it was not a good one. He did not prepare for transition or the Afterlife at all. He had many regrets. Over the past 10 years, I’ve tuned into him occasionally to monitor his progress. He has slowly improved, which has been a great relief to me.

The Ghosts of Christmas Past
However, I did not expect what happened recently. I met my Sweetheart Valerie online 9 years ago. We are both psychic and had many singular, unique psychic experiences with each other over the years. But it’s one thing to talk about finding your optimum mate and another thing entirely to encounter them. Our journey has been a difficult one.

My father was absolutely amazing, but he did not educate me very well about woman. I had no mother and no sisters growing up. While I’m ‘sensitive’ for a man, there was definitely a blind spot regarding how women see the world. This blind spot has caused many misunderstandings between my sweetheart, Valerie and I.

During our last dispute, I kept feeling my father around for several weeks. I had no idea why. I was determined not to give into what I thought were Valerie’s unreasonable demands. Valerie later told me that she was just as determined not to contact me and my father had repeatedly told her not to give up on me.

Being heartbroken and harried trying to care for my three children, I wasn’t paying too much attention to my Dad. After all, he seemed to be making pretty slow progress on the Other Side, so I wasn’t expecting any amazing information. Not only that, but being a man, and wanting to be independent, I wasn’t interested in advice I didn’t ask for.

I was on the phone with Valerie. We were discussing some recent interactions with other woman. Being a male psychic, I can tell you all about how and why your man is behaving the way he is! But the motives of woman have often escaped me. My father made his presence known and then seemed to pull away. All of a sudden I had this life altering epiphany. I had this amazing understanding of woman, especially how they behave with each other, both in supportive and destructive ways.

I felt disoriented and slightly dizzy. I could suddenly understand how and why some of the women over the years had behaved with Valerie and what they were trying to do. He showed me how these women had caused repeated breakups over the years. For the first time, shame overcame me as I realized how much I had hurt her by making her feel secondary to ruthless woman purposely trying to cause trouble.

My father asked me how I could possibly demand absolute trust from Valerie, when I was unwilling to extend her even the most basic trust. He showed me how I had been an utter failure as a leader in the family I was attempting to blend. The tears flowed and I sobbed.

This was not a superficial experience. I will remember it for the rest of my life. In a very odd and supernatural way, I believe my father wanted to compensate for the lack of understanding about woman he had caused me to have; that maybe even he suffered from in mortality. He wanted to make up for the blind spot and make sure that I didn’t loose the woman God Himself had designated me to be with.

Valerie has been in shock since that transcendental experience. She loves me more than she ever has anyone else (and I her). But with all the pain I have caused her, she is understandably apprehensive to trust that I will not break her heart again. But thanks to my Dad, who selfless served me in life and now beyond the grave, I will prove to her that I am committed.

The Ghosts of Christmas Past
My Dad showed me what a commitment from a father to his children looked like by never giving us up and never giving in to the pressure to send us to live with someone else. In death he has now shown me what commitment to the love of my life looks like as well.

I am sorry for being such an ungrateful bastard of a son, Dad. Thank you for not giving up on me in life…or in death. We will meet again, face to face someday.

The Ghosts of Christmas Past
And thanks for the best Christmas present I’ve ever received, Dad. But in case you are wondering, I don’t think she’s going to go for those broiling, fire hazard lights! This is the 21st century after all.  :-)

Maybe if you listen carefully, dear reader, you can hear your ghost from Christmas past…

The Ghosts of Christmas Past

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