Sometimes people look at my pictures and ask me, “Is Everett really that happy?”
I never know how to answer that question, other than to simply say yes. Everett is really that happy. He is easy to tickle and quick to laugh and the older he gets, the more I love that quality about him. Ev’s joy is undoubtedly contagious.
That being said, the kid’s not perfect and even the most joyful of us have our off days. We’re officially at the toddler tantrum stage and as much as I wanted to believe that Everett’s overflowing happiness would somehow save us from emotional outbursts, no such luck. The screaming, the crying, the red face, the stomping of the feet—he’s tried it all. Sometimes it happens at home and sometimes it happens in the makeup aisle of Target. Tantrums are always horrible and embarrassing and stressful and I find myself mentally apologizing to every mom I’ve ever unintentionally judged while witnessing a similar scene.
A couple of weeks ago I took Everett to Target, list in hand, determined to spend less than fifty dollars. We had been shopping less than ten minutes when the tantrum began, totally unprovoked. Everett started hitting the cart and convulsing his tiny body, trying to break free from the safety belt. I did what I always do and quickly veered the cart into a deserted aisle, shushing him as best as I could while trying to reason with him. Trying to reason with a toddler in the middle of a tantrum is like trying to reason with a potato.
The screaming was getting louder and suddenly without even thinking, I started counting.
1….2…..3….4….5…6….7….8….9…10…..
Even breaths, cool as a cucumber, in a calm voice.
11…….12……13…..14…..15
Everett stared at me, confused, and I stared back, afraid he was going to call my bluff.
…..16…..17…..18…..19…..20
He stopped crying and just stared at me, eyebrows furrowed. I pushed the cart to the toothpaste aisle and grabbed some mouthwash.
21….22…..23…..24…..25……
Then went to the shipping aisle for packing tape.
26…..27…..28……29…..30…..
Grabbed a quick birthday card.
31…..32…..33…..34….35…..36…..37
Silence and staring. Staring and silence.
It worked. I counted all the way up until we got to the checkout line, at which point Everett got distracted by All The People and All The Things and no longer needed calm counting to keep him quiet.
I’ve tried this strategy a few more times—both at home and in public—and so far, it seems to be working. I count until the tantrum stops, at which point I either a) attempt to reason with him, b) redirect, or c) discipline.
I’ve been a parent long enough now to know that just because counting works today doesn’t mean it will work tomorrow, but in case you also find yourself stranded in the middle of Target with a red-face toddler screaming bloody murder trying to chew his way through the cart safety belt, I thought I would offer up this small tip in case it works for you. I mean, even if it only works one time, it might buy you enough minutes to grab the mascara you missed the last time you were dealing with an outburst and had to make an emergency exit from Target.
Mommas, any tips and tricks for dealing with toddler tantrums? I’m sure the counting novelty will wear off eventually. Have any other strategies worked for you? Also, feel free to share your most horrifying tantrum story below. Let’s have a good laugh about it together.
