The Color of Today

My husband and I have been trying to decide what color to paint the exterior of our typical Kiwi wood cottage. We wanted to go bold, though not Christmasy, with green and red. You’d think that our local Resene paint dealer, with its hundreds of colors to choose from, would have had exactly what we (let’s face it, I) had envisaged. But I wanted a green that was slightly less military than Flax but more ballsy than Frontier. And a red that was a little less muddy than Fahrenheit and a little less crass than Raging Bull. Don’t you think, honey?
Be honest: that’s why you men love us.
As I struggled to find the adjectives to describe my color hesitations to my husband, I began to wonder about the person whose job it is to name the paint colors in the first place. About how much fun it would be to come up with names like Hippie Green, Surf Crest, Alter Ego, Cha Cha. And about how much I want that guy’s job.
But it’s probably not all fun and games. There must be a method behind the madness. A technique. Glancing through our color swatches, in fact, I can see there is some sort of pattern.
Clearly, some paints are named after something that shares the same color. For example, there are…
Plant or flower names: Laurel, Holly, Apple Blossom, Palm Leaf
Food names: Celery, Toast, Avocado, Caper
Spice names: Cumin, Paprika, Wasabi
Drink names: Moccaccino, Espresso, Brandy, Merlot
Animal names: Turtle Green, Flamingo, Grass Hopper
There are geographical names, with an overwhelming majority of Italian destinations:
Habitat names: Woodland, Marshland, Desert, Rain Forest
International place names: Trinidad, Xanadu, Norway, El Paso
Italian place names: Padua, Sorrento, Stromboli, Tuscany, Como
But it’s once the visual matches have run out that the fun – and the magic – really begins.
Whimsical names: Goblin, Sea Nymph
Emotions: Envy, Ecstasy, Bitter, Joie De Vivre
Dangers: Roulette, Hazard, Havoc
Deep and meaningful names: Destiny, Oracle, Eternity
The name of a mysterious person on one’s mind: Christine, William, Mandy, Consuela
Wild and crazy names: Birthday Suit, Whizz Bang, Go Ben, Oh Behave
And when all else fails, you can always just use the tried and true name of the color to name the color.
Literal names: Green Meets Blue, Red Red Red
And these are just the greens and the reds! Oh, I wish I could get paid to name paint colors, but for now I’m willing to do it pro bono. With all the paint colors in our house for the most part already named, I’ll take on the even greater chromatic challenge of naming the complex hues of my mind. If my mood were made up of colors, what would they be today, an unproductive day at home being a mom and trying to get out of a slump? (Note to Resene or Dulux customers: the following paint colors are not yet available.)
Plant or flower name: Weed
Food name: Nachos Again
Spice name: Salt
Drink name: Caffeinated Beverage
Animal name: Slow Wrinkly Tortoise
Habitat name: FloodplainInternational place name: PlutoItalian place name: Napoli
Whimsical name: Giant Octopus
Deep and meaningful name: Que Sera SeraEmotion: Faint Hope
Danger: Analytical Thinking
Mysterious person on my mind: Ivan the BulgarianWild and crazy name: Hocus Pocus
Literal name: Grey Meets Dirty White
Phew, that was hard work! But fun. So what about you? What are some of your made-up paint names to describe your mood today? Or even just some really good ideas for paint names?