This post is an anonymous guest post
This post is an anonymous guest post
Dragging my feet down the stairs, I really didn’t want to go to school. Like any normal day I knew exactly what was coming, all the bullies lying in wait for me to bully me and abuse me. I started walking through the park toward school crying so hard hardly breathing I wanted to kill my self thoughts I had been having for a long while. I was 14 year old stripped of all my dignity I went to a regular baby sitting job a month before. While walking home I was sexually attacked.
I had missed a period something which I chose not to tell anyone, I got to 5 month and my mother found me passed out in the toilet. Which ended in the hospital telling her I was pregnant ! I had to sit there and tell her everything about why I never told her my innocence had been taken and why I didn’t tell her about my missing periods. In the end after a long night I had decided to get the baby adopted something my family didn’t agree on but I think they understood it was my decision. 4 month later I had a baby boy he was half cast and a dna was taken straight away from the man what did this to me and he was finally arrested.
I spent just 5 minuets with him then social services took him away as arranged. The next day I was discharged and vowed to never mention it again, 2 week later I returned to school , the bullying worser then ever they started on me straight away oh look here’s the smelly one “saggy Maggie” they would shout and “get a bath” they are just some of the small things they said.At dinner time I was hid in my normal place behind a tree at the back of school, I had no friends not really, well not in school there was one family few doors away from me, they would talk to me out of school then ignore me while in.
Stood behind the tree waiting for the bell to ring, it did eventually, as I turned round there was 2 girls there, the worst bullies. They pulled my hair and cut it off then got a lighter and tried to burn it. I sat there behind the tree all afternoon until I eventually got up and ran through the park back home. I was 15 minutes late I knew I was in big trouble. I got home hiding my tears and got the biggest slap off my step dad I had ever had I ran up the stair crying . I eventually cried my self to sleep again. Was 7pm before I woke, I just sat there thinking what would it be like if I tried to actually kill my self?
So I got up and wondered to my mothers pills in her bedroom I grabbed the full bag and ran to my room. I wrote a letter to say why I had done it and how much I had been hurting since I started school. There was loads of tablets in the bag I just started putting them in one by one. I got to 500 pills and couldn’t even see anymore I was crying that much. My mother walked into the room just as I was popping more she dragged me down the stairs and straight to my aunts around the corner who rushed me to the hospital I was in pieces. They gave me a black horrible charcoal drink to drink I was sick most of the tablets back up looked at me mother with big sorry eyes. She said you wont want to do that again will you.
She was right what was I thinking just the look on my little sisters face broke me. my mother counted that 534 of her tablets was missing. the doctor said they would have only gave me a massive belly ache as they was only ulcer tablets and hay fever tablets . I was sent to my dads for a few weeks to have a break. I got back and I was ready to take the bullies on. Returning to school I was no longer the shy quiet one I was in control of what they did to me.
Sure enough they were ready to pounce, the main girl was sat behind me flicking a lighter at my hair I turned round and said if that burns my hair see what you get, she did it my hair was syringed I got up and stabbed her with a pencil I didn’t mean to but it just happened, I got sent to the head of years room and so did she as soon as she got seen to by the nurse. I will always remember this as I was in stitches the head of year mr whitton actually turned to her and said well well well Kelly revenge is sweet isn’t it maybe now you will stop bullying people she stormed out in tears never hasted me again I never even got excluded just more like a pat on back it gave me a massive boost of confidence.
I got on with my last year of school in piece and happy. The last 2 weeks of school I met a guy yeah he was 47 but so good looking and I was 16 I spent loads of time with him and finally trusted him. I got pregnant within 6month he got possessive really clingy to me and e
verything I did he would accuse me of different things. At 3 month pregnant he took me for a meal on a Friday night like normal after we dropped his kids at there mums. Only this time we didn’t get to the pub he took me to some woods I was really scared I said can I just text my mom let her know im going to bed now he agreed. I actually wrote mom help in woods think hes guna kill me im scared. We sat there for ages talking and eventually he turned the car around and went to a shop he bought me some flowers.
We got to his place and went straight to bed I was to scared to do anything like run I was going to wait till he was sleeping. Within 5 minuets there was police banging the door down , at last I was safe. 7 hours after I had text my mother .
I went to my mothers and stayed there. She told me the whole village was looking for me I felt guilty like I had made a fuss.
2 month later my mom had a new boyfriend and he had a best friend. I was 6 month pregnant he knew that. We clicked straight away, he wasn’t good looking but so what I’m not bothered it was his personality that did it for me. We moved in together pretty fast he lived in a caravan with his 3 kids so I joined them he vowed to fetch my child up as his own 3 month later I had a girl, he chose the name Chloe and told everyone on his phone book and even had a party at 4 am which the whole site came to .
6 years later we were still together happier then ever I finally persuaded him to have another child and now we have been together 8 year. My life is getting better even thou I have manic depression
