Okay. It's going to be excruciatingly painful, yadda, yadda, yadda - but how the hell do I know when to head to the hospital? This is a question that I've never really felt has been answered - until this week when I got an email correspondence from one of my Mommyish readers. She lives in Orlando, too, and was kind enough to reach out to help me with doctor recommendations and some other mom-related stuff because I've been pretty confused since we got here.
I thought I would pass it on to any readers that may be pregnant and confused - like me. Yes, I've been through it before but the emergency C-section kind of skipped over the whole experience of labor thing.
I guess I should remind you all now that she is not a doctor - so don't take this as medical advice. More like experienced-mom-advice - which in some cases is just as good if you ask me.
—Early Labor (stay home.)—Your contractions are sporadic and far apart. You are going about your normal day. Your internal monolog sounds something like this: "Well those are definitely contractions. I think. They feel like Braxton Hicks but there is a little pain now—I think this is it! I should pack/clean/shower/shave/rest." Eat food and drink water.Only a month left until this baby has to come out. Deep breaths...
—More Advanced Early Labor (stay home. seriously.)—Your contractions are getting closer together and they are becoming more consistent. You should probably have a little stop watch or iPhone app handy at this point to track your contractions. Your internal monolog sounds something like this: "I am a rock star. I must have some pretty high pain tolerance, because I can totally do this. Why do women make such a big deal about this. Oh this is fun using the birth ball. Oh look at me doing my hypnobaby/yoga breathing so flawlessly. It just feels like bad period cramps! I should maybe think about going to the hospital. I bet I am totally farther than I think, but I am just amazing at handling pain." Eat food and drink water.
—Early Active Labor (stay home still. but get ready.)—Your contractions are close to 5-1-1 (5 minutes apart from the start of one to the start of the other, lasting for one minute in length, for at least one hour). You are resting between contractions in a chair, or in bed, and then maybe assuming a different posture through your contraction because it actually helps the pain (leaning over, squatting, etc). Internal monolog "I am still a rock star, it just hurts worse. Like, I am starting to feel it all through my back and mid-section. Ohhh that one actually really felt like shit. But I am still in control. I think. Crap, here comes another one. Damn it." Eat food and drink water.
—True Active Labor (get thee to thy hospital.)—You have passed the 5-1-1 test. You are doing whatever you can to relieve the pain, but nothing helps, because honestly, there is nothing you can do. It hurts like a bitch...like pain you never dreamed was possible. When a contraction comes, you are seriously unable to speak or breathe. Your whole body, including your face, is tense and clenched. There is really no internal monologue, because you cannot think of anything besides how much pain you are in and how to relieve it. Get in the car, hang on to the "oh shit handle," and turn the air vents on your face, because you are probably sweating now. Every red light sucks. Every radio station sucks. Every bump in the road sucks. Your husband sucks. Eve sucks. Having babies sucks. I really may die.
I hope this helps. They will admit you fast if you are truly in serious active labor, and you will be so relieved to get in that room, around medical professionals, and then things don't seem as scary because you have help and nurses who are so great. Don't even worry about who the doctor is, because if all goes well, he will seriously come in when the nurse says the baby is ready to be born, catch the baby, fix your vag, and leave. It is the nurses who really matter. You will do great!
And thanks, Bethany!
