This week we are going to talk about what NOT to do…to be uber sexy…
Use self tanning lotion.
Unless…
- There is absolutely NO other way you can get a healthy golden glow.
- You have really good light when you apply it.
- You do it evenly, you have to be careful not to put it on too thick in some places and not others.
- You wash your hands really well after you apply it, it is really unattractive when you have orange hands and orange skin.
- You buy a quality product. I guarantee this is one of those things you do not buy in the no name brand.
- You don’t go too dark too fast, take your time, build it up slowly, and don’t try too get the… I have been in Hawaii for three weeks look, EVER.
- You do NOT…try and get a golden glow before your first date, I can pretty much put money on the fact you will screw it up, and he will never call you EVER again…it’s just a hunch, but I think it’s a good one.
- You never apply it, while drinking or smoking a big fat doobie.
- You never let your best friend convince you the above is a good idea.
- The stuff your friend gave you to try for free, made her get pregnant, and that is why she is giving it to you. Otherwise, do not take any chances that the bitch is doing you any favors…and even then, do you really want to risk it?
- You have someone reliable that will do your back for you and not write bad words in orange on your shoulder.
- You make sure the above person doesn’t lie to you to make you feel better about yourself.
- The sun goes dead in the sky and you have no other choice.
I think that is it, I can’t think of any other good reason to do it. I am not even sure these are good enough. I have to admit I have a bottle of self tanner under my sink, but that is pretty much where it sits. I just don’t have the guts to even try it. I saw a lady today that prompted the advice, I don’t even think she was aware of how bad it was in the sunlight. I of course filtered, somehow, and didn’t say anything out loud.
Well until now, pretty sure she doesn’t read my blog…so all good :)
Have a tanless and happy Sunday my friends…
