Story-Ventures into Unknown Terrirtory 52:70

Golf in Hades by John Kendrick Bangs (published in 1899).

• This is the Last Story in Ventures into Unknown Territory for 2012
  (God Willing We will Have more from this theme in 2013).
• Genre: Comic Fantasy
• Length: Six Pages
• Summary: Boswell tells the author what golf in hell is like, in a comic fantasy, that is sure to bring a smile to any cantankerous face.

What I learned about Writing

Coming Soon

Characters in the Story

1. Boswell
2. Apollyon
3. Medussa
4. Napolean
5. Deliliah
6. Bonaparte
7. Diogenes
8. Solomon
9. Motaigne
10. Simple Simon
11. Mc Guffin
12. Stygians
13. Old Peter Stuyvesant
14. Colonel Bogey
15. Baron Manchussen
16. Xanthippe
17. Queen Elizabeth

    First Words

    
    "Jim," said I to Boswell one morning as the type-writer beganto work, "perhaps you can enlighten me on a point concerningwhich a great many people have questioned me recently. Hasgolf taken hold of Hades yet? You referred to it some timeago, and I've been wondering ever since if it had become afad with you."
    

    Favorite Quote

    
    "It is easy to understand," returned Boswell. "For instance,with us there is no resistance when by a mischance we comeinto unexpected contact with the ball. Take the experience ofDiogenes and Solomon at the St. Jonah's Links week beforelast. The Wiseman's Handicap was on. Diogenes and SimpleSimon were playing just ahead of Solomon and Montaigne.Solomon was driving in great form. For the first time inhis life he seemed able to keep his eye on the ball, and theway he sent it flying through the air was a caution. Diogenesand Simple Simon had both had their second stroke and Solomondrove off. His ball sailed straight ahead like a missile froma catapult, flew in a bee-line for Diogenes, struck him at thebase of his brain, continued on through, and landed on the edgeof the green."
    "Mercy!" I cried. "Didn't it kill him?"
    "Of course not," retorted Boswell. "You can't kill a shade.Diogenes didn't know he'd been hit, but if that had happenedto one of you material golfers there'd have been a sickeningend to that tournament."
    

    Last Words

    
    I can only hope that for one and all thefuture may hold as much of pleasure as the place of departedspirits has held for me.
    

    Where to Find this Story

    
    One can find this story online at the Classic Reader.
    

    How I Discoverd or Acquired this Story

    
    I was looking up information on Philip Jose Farmer and found the book The Enchanted Typewriter  mentioned on the Wikipedia page for Farmer.  I looked to see if the Enchanted Typewriter was public domain, and it was.  Then I looked at the titles of the individual stories, and Golf in Hades seemed like a good story to read, and that is how I found this story.