STOP With The Advice

If one more person tells me that I need a steady girlfriend in my life or even a wife, that I need to find "love" again and share all of my wonderful, gentle, caring attributes with a Significant Other, I’m gonna go on a gawd-dam rampage with a baseball bat while I howl at the moon and smash car windshields and mailboxes.
Besides… if I want a companion, I can get one from an online warehouse, kinda like shopping at Home Depot instead of engaging in exotic courtship rituals.
Plus… I already have a full time job!