Love & Sex Magazine

Stop Encouraging Me!

By Loveandgrace @loveandgrace20

Some of you read the title and thought, “What is she talking about now?” Yet, have you ever felt this way? Right when you are in the middle of a good “woe is me, I’m single” pity party, some married person comes to you with encouragement of some kind. You try to turn that frown upside down, but you would pay anything for them to go away. After all, you have a party to get back to and for whatever reason you’re not ready to leave. Am I alone? Do I hear crickets? Well I have been there and felt all of that.

There was never a polite way for me to say, “Get out of my face because I want to hurt right now! How do you expect me to be happy all the time? It’s my right to be sad! I don’t care that you’re married. I’m not married! Leave me alone!!!”

It is my recommendation to never fly into a rage like this if you can help it. Even the best and dearest of friends will only put up with a bad attitude for so long. Try to brace yourself and smile politely. Place all of their words of encouragement somewhere in your memory bank because you will want them later. Trust me. Right now you may just be perturbed and need some alone time with God. Fortunately God knows how to break down the most pitiful and sorriest attitudes.

I had some smart come backs in my carnal mind for encouraging words of advice given. I remember thinking that if one more person tells me to be content, pray, or wait patiently, I will scream and leave town forever. Sometimes I wanted to say, “I did that ten years ago and it isn’t working. I’m still single. What else you got?”

I knew their advice was right. I applied them the best I could, but some days the delay was too much. So I thought. Thank God for grace! Now here I am, writing a singles blog. I’m sure that some things I write tread dangerously on the last nerve of those who are exhausted of encouragement. They want marriage, not more inspiration for singles.

When we want something so badly, our human nature wants a quick fix. The flesh has a “give it to me now” attitude. We want God to put that miracle in the microwave and turn it up on high. Let’s get this thing done so I can have WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW! Whew…. strenuous isn’t it. I was endlessly frustrated with this mind set. Days felt like years and not the least bit did I enjoy one of those days.

Then God shook me and had mercy on me. He made my tears bitter and heavy on my face. I could hardly stand it. The pity party and depression began to take a toll on my body. I dangerously dropped a lot of weight and suffered unexplained pains in my body. That was it for me. I had enough. If God sent my husband at that time, what good would I have been to him?

I didn’t need any more wake-up calls. I was up. I was ready to be strengthened in Jesus name.

There had to be another approach to my wanting.  My first plan of attack was to yield time to God. Who but God can control time? My mind needed liberty from the worry of it. Every part of me needed peace and to be stress free. Why couldn’t I enjoy my life while I was waiting? Sounds a bit out of the box, but it just might work! Second, I fell in true love with Jesus.

I invited Him to occupy my heart not only for salvation but for relationship. Deepening my relationship with God was medicine. It was my cure.

My heart was prepared for comfort by the words of friends and family, however, there was none. My ears were ready to listen but there was silence. All that was left for me to do was reach back and remember. I remembered the words of my pastor, mother, friends, and members at my church.

The next step was for me to encourage myself in the Lord. Then, from that day forward, walk completely in the spirit so the sorry attitude of my flesh would not manifest again. In the process, God is a comforter and able to deliver from all fears, doubts, and insecurities. Christians do not call the shots in our relationship with God. At the same time He is a patient, generous, and a loving God. His grace is sufficient

Please do not reject this blog right away. Don’t dismiss it because it is written by a woman and you are a single man. Don’t quickly move on because you’ve read that I am married now. God has given me a testimony. It is not one that I asked for, but it was given to me and I count it as a gift from God. If I can say anything to encourage or help anyone, I believe I am charged to do so.

May He help us to receive His encouragement and comfort while we are waiting for our blessings…

Be encouraged!


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