He talked with her on their lunch and he was stoked at talking about the good ol days in the 25th. He then began telling a joke which my wife finished. He laughed even harder and said "that's awesome you know the joke."
My wife informed him it was not a joke, this incident actually happened. He was mortified. Here is why:
In 2003 my buddy got into a fight with a guy that was always starting fights. I saw them acting aggressive and standing toe to toe yelling as I walked around the building to go to my room.
A short time later I saw my buddy walk by me as I was heading up the stairs and noticed a six inch knife dripping with syrupy deep red blood and I knew how the fight had ended.
I raced up stairs and found this kid I hated but he didn't deserve to die and I knew he would if I didn't help.
I raced back down stairs on a panic knowing his survival was my responsibility, his life was in my hands.
I saw soldiers in another company and told them and we all raced to this mans aid.
I didn't help him but I found those who did.
After his stabbing he received medical attention. When he was released from the hospital he was given leave to collect himself. He was ok. He had no lasting injuries.
Then I heard one officer say to another "How exactly do you stab a man 17 times and not kill him? That sound like a leadership failure to me."
In relating this story I created a monster.
Because in the infantry the job discription is combat which necessitates knowing how to kill. We were all trained to kill in one strike using various methods with or without a weapon. So by infantry standards not being able to kill a man in 17 tries is a failure of sorts.
I was the one who spread this joke far and wide and all the soldiers I told thought it was the funniest joke ever!
So when my wife's coworker found out it was based on actual events he was mortified and said "I thought it was just an urban legend."
I created a monster.
I never knew the power of my own speech until then. I never felt the pain of not being able to control what I started or the impact my words had. Once it is spoken it cannot be taken back, its impact is lasting and in my case it was incredible and not exactly good.
It reminds me of another story; a man goes to his rabbi after having gossiped and spread horrible rumors about others and he asks his Rabbi for help and the Rabbi says take a pillow and toss it's feathers and the gather them back up.
The man says that's impossible and the Rabbi says "it is the same with taking back the things you've said."
It's like this if I tell you to grab a ceramic dish and throw it on the ground. It breaks. I tell you to tell the dish. "I'm sorry."
Does it go back to the way it was before? No. Does this make sense now?
I never would have learned the consequences of my actions and words had it not been for my wife's coworker.I knew but did not understand this until recently.
I am sorry. And I am sorry I cannot take it back. It's like my blog. People may not remember exactly what I said, but people will always remember how I've made them feel.
And the power of speech and blogging has been on my mind since these excommunications have happened. My words matter more than I ever realized because once it's out it is no longer something I can control even if I delete the post in question.
