My mom met my step dad when I was 9 years old, I introduced them and they became friends, my mom was lonely so I wanted her to have someone to talk too, to have a drink with every so often.
Four years later they told me they were getting married, I wasn’t very happy but I wanted to be a bridesmaid so went along with it, I liked wearing a dress and feeling beautiful just for the one day.
After they got married, everything had changed, he hated me and boy and did he show it. My new stepdad would torment me.
He would come in my room in the morning, used to shout at me or spit at me if I wasn’t getting dressed for school quick enough. I was teenager, this was my room and he was invading my space, one day I had enough and I shouted back.
I ran to school just in my trousers and shirt, I was so upset. I spoke to my teacher about it but nothing more was said as I didn’t want to cause my mom any hassle.
He would call me ugly and fat; made me feel worse about myself, told me I was like my father (we have no contact due to violence on his part), that hurt me the most, I was nothing like him.
One day they took me out for a meal, usually when they do this, they have something to tell me, so I was dreading it.
I was right, mom was pregnant, I was so upset, hurt and angry, didn’t talk to them for ages.
A few months into her pregnancy, there was complications with the baby (we found out this point, the baby was a girl.) I was softening to the idea of having a sister, she was not breathing when born.
The midwife took a picture, she was tiny and bruised. I still have the image now in my mind – I never wanted to see the picture again.
A couple of days later I came home from school, let myself in as usual but no one was home, walked into the hallway and there was a pool of blood on the carpet, didn’t know what to think, so I walked back out, shut the door and sat on the doorstep.
Half an hour later my auntie picked me up, took me to her house and told me what had happened.
Mum hadn’t delivered all the afterbirth causing an infection so she lost a lot of blood, but they had controlled it now and she was ok.
Four months later my mom told me she was pregnant again; I couldn’t cope with the news so moved out and stayed with my nan for a while. She was having another little girl and she was born on the 16th May.
Now I knew everything was ok, I moved back in with my mom and step dad but things got much worse with him, he wouldn’t let me hold her, feed her or even touch her.
He went back to work and I was glad, I held my sister for the first time. She was 3 weeks old.
When he got home, he would take her into their bedroom and shut the door, I was not allowed to see her till the next day when he was at work.
He came home early one day to me doing her nappy and he did not like it, it all kicked off, had a go at mom for letting the fat bitch touch his daughter as he would say.
She at that point had enough, told him to leave for a while – he didn’t like that so started playing mind games with her, lasted years and in the end, she got depressed and she would lock herself in the bathroom, crying for hours.
I had to get my sister ready for school, feed her and pick her up again. It was heart-breaking to hear my mom be so down, it was destroying me but I carried on. He would even phone my nan and give her loads of abuse, they ended up selling up and moving away an hour away to get away from him.
My mom would meet him in a shopping center but he just caused trouble if things didn’t go his way.
He once left my sister in a petrol station car park on her own because she told him she hated him. She was 5 years old,
He phoned mom to tell her that she was there on her own and he was on his way home. She hit the roof.
She is a horrible man and acted this way because he did not get his own way.
Last year was the last straw (May 2012) it was my sisters birthday party, he hated I was there, but never said anything.
I was pregnant with my son, around 36 weeks pregnant, he ignored my sister completely, it upset her that annoyed me more.
I was getting stressed and then he tried to push my daughter over, I went up to give him a piece of my mind till my sisters friend stood up to him, he was 12, a 12 year old standing up to a 40 year old odd man.
He was so embarrassed; he said to my mom that he gives up, that we have won in keeping him away from his daughter. We have not heard or seen him since
My sister has been so much happier since he’s gone, nearly been a year now.
I shared my story because I want all the women to know you don’t have to be treated this way. My mom and my sister got through this and so can you.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mom who is either a member of my Facebook mums group, a Twitter follower or has been submitted to me via email. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me. You could help us share the blogs love to helping others by sharing via the social sharing buttons.
