Diaries Magazine


By Agadd @ashleegadd

“You cannot pour more water into a full cup without causing a spillage.”
―Rasheed Ogunlaru

I tend to drive Brett crazy with my clean-freak antics. A perfect Saturday to me involves sleeping in, devouring two slices of Trader Joes french toast slathered with nutella and topped with banana slices, followed by some serious deep cleaning. I don’t love the act of cleaning itself, but I do love the aftermath of a solid cleaning session. Sparkling sink fixtures, freshly vacuumed carpet, pillows neatly stacked in the corners of the couch…..hello happiness!

Although it’s hard to pick just one favorite post-cleaning accomplishment, it would have to be the clear surfaces. I love a kitchen counter with nothing on it. What freedom; what space! So many possibilities! I could bake! I could craft! I could make that thingy from Pinterest!! THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER! But alas, my kitchen counter is rarely clear. Despite my best attempts to make it so, my kitchen counter somehow remains cluttered with unopened mail, sippy cups full of stale water, that book I need to return to a friend, a gift that needs wrapping, Everett’s bumbo (covered in drool), and I’m embarrassed to admit…sometimes an empty Chipotle chip bag.

This is my life. Messy and cluttered.

I’ve been feeling rather uninspired lately, and I think it’s because on most days, my mind is basically one giant kitchen counter. There are hundreds of to-do’s swirling around in my head and fourteen tabs open in the browser while I’m trying to write and so much noise and so much stuff that all I want to do is that thing people do in the movies where they swipe their arms across the desk and knock everything to the floor (usually before wild sex, but that doesn’t apply to my metaphor).



I just need…..some space. I’ve been in a creative funk lately and I haven’t been able to figure out why and then I looked at my kitchen counter yesterday and suddenly it made sense. I have no space to create.

And this, my friends, is a problem. Because in order to create, you need space. You need space in your home and space on your computer and space in your schedule and space in your life. You need quiet rooms and clear surfaces and a dedicated time to make things. Cookies. Crafts. Sentences. Photographs. Whatever it is that you create, you first need the space in which to do it. Easier said than done, right? Sometimes I set out to create with the best intentions but before I know it, the bills and the unwritten thank you cards and the facebook and the laundry and the real housewives and the pinterest and the baby poop have “forced” their way into my create time and then I blink and it’s actually dinner time and what do you know? I haven’t created anything.

And the thing is—creating makes me happy. I am happy while creating, I am happy after creating, I am happy just thinking about creating. This is my truth. I know God has blessed me with the ability to create, but now it’s up to me to make the creating a priority.

How do you make space to create?

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