So you asked him to be your boyfriend or you told him that you liked him, and based on all the signs you expected he felt the same way that you did, but sadly he didn’t. Turns out he thought you were “just friends” and now he has more or less thrown you into the friend-zone; or even worse, stopped talking to you completely. Now you don’t know what to do but bury yourself in ice cream (or whatever other comfort food you have going for you) ask yourself questions that have no answers like why would you lead me on? Or why would you flirt with me? Didn’t you see I was falling for you in the first place?
Photography by Gibel Photography
See, a guy is used to being in-charge. Whereas they make it look like life is pretty simple and happy-go-lucky like he doesn’t stress out, he has most of the time stressed out already to create the different moods. See dudes are used to hitting on girls, put him in the opposite situation where you are hitting on him, and he has no clue what to do. In most cases he will run and hide. Suggestion here: do some inception, (with wisdom) send your girlfriends, or his boys to investigate whether he is into you or not. Have them make him believe that he is into you. Then, he will be the one to ask you out.
A cunning lady friend of mine, let’s call her Cindy, fell for a guy, let’s call him Greg, first time she met him. She didn’t know what to do to get him to notice her. Her plan? The power of suggestion. She got his friends to give her his favorite hangout spots and whenever he was going out, she would “happen to be there” as well, they would exchange the occasional “Hi” and “oh so you come her too!” talk when they would bump into each other.
Cindy was always decked out in her best eye-catching attire, had a couple of girlfriends (wing-men) and they had a great time clubbing in the same place that Greg was. One day she was with her friends at the bar, she got up and walked right past Greg and went to sit alone not more than two meters from him. He now had the choice to walk up to her and talk to her, or ignore her. Greg chose well and walked up to her. They are now 12 years married with 3 daughters.
Make effort to grab his attention. Men will notice something nice from a glance, not details like a new hairpin, but a nice hairdo he will notice. Cindy dressed up as though she was going on a proper date. Greg noticed. For you it could be learning his favorite sport or playing dress up and putting on make-up. Keep in mind that there are so many girls around him, what will make you stand out? Men love trophies, and he can only show off what he likes e.g. his car, guitar, rugby ball from high school, etc. how far would you go to become a “trophy”?
Lady folk suffer from one great weakness. Please don’t make him feel like one of your girlfriends. Guys don’t do gossip cop and don’t size up another man or woman’s clothing. And don’t try to change him either. Guys love playing when having some downtime. This could be gym, a sport, a video game etc. find out his hobbies and see whether this fits your bill.
One last thing, if he turns you down, he probably knew from the moment he met you that you weren’t the one hence he didn’t make a move so don’t feel so bad. Society dictates that he has to make a move and he has probably been turned down or will be turned down severally.
