If you told me a few years ago that I'd be forty and pregnant I probably wouldn't have believed you, but here I am 31 weeks and 3 days pregnant with my second child. There was a time that I thought I'd missed my chance and I'd never have children, so I feel very lucky to have my beautiful boy and all going well I will have another beautiful child very soon.
Reflecting on the last 40 years I can say that I'm happy. I haven't had the perfect life but it's been good, I've been mostly happy and I don't have any huge regrets. I've lived a fortunate life. In my opinion anyone who is healthy and happy is very fortunate.
At this point in time I am very content with my life. I love living in the country, I love being a mom and I love having my family close. I love that I can ring up my sister in law, Dad, best friend or cousin and pop over for a visit if I'm having a bad day. I love that they pop in and visit me. I really missed that when I was living in the city. I also love that my babies will grow up with their cousins, I think it's important for a child to have a strong family circle and I love that we are giving that to Chai and our new bub.
The one thing I don't love at the moment is Tiger working away, however I do love the two weeks that he's home every month and I know that if he was working locally he'd only get eight days off over a month, instead of fourteen. So really, I'm lucky that he works away as it gives us more time with him.
For me my 20's were about learning who I am, sorting out my crap and healing the wounds from my childhood. My 30's were about establishing a career and settling down. I'm hoping my 40's will be about raising my family and being contented.
I never really thought about what I'd look like at forty, but for those who are wondering, this is what an untouched, no filter, no make-up forty looks like:
This is the face of a woman who has known joy and sorrow, illness and health, who has survived two miscarriages, childhood sexual abuse, severe asthma and crohn's disease. Through it all I've learned who I am and I have come through these events a stronger, happier person. I can honestly say that I know who I am and I'm happy with me.
