My seven-year old daughter learned a new word yesterday: despondent. When she asked me how I was feeling when I got up from bed that morning, that’s the quick answer I gave her. I told her that meant sad, hopeless. My dismal demeanor made my mood plummet from the stratosphere down to the earth’s core. I felt I desperately needed to open up the sunrooms in my mind and let some sunshine in.
So why was I feeling especially downcast yesterday? I didn’t particularly lose someone or buy an ill-fitting bikini top from an expensive lingerie store. Nothing bad happened to me or to anybody I loved. I simply felt that something was amiss. Amid all the blessings around me, I still felt a sense of uneasiness. My spirit wasn’t exactly doing cartwheels.
I started to look back on my life and where it has led me thus far. Admittedly, I have made a lot of wrong turns in this road of existence. Some decisions have led me to rough terrain which I found extremely difficult to get out of. On most occasions, giving up seemed like the best option.
I often wish that I could turn back the hands of time and undo the errors I’ve made. If I knew then what I know now, I might be better off and not sitting here feeling a bit sorry for myself.
But of course, what’s done is done. There’s no fairy godmother to magically wipe everything clean. I will not feel regret and instead forge forward. However which way you look at it, it’s the only way to go…
