No matter how many times I explain it, police-state defenders keep popping up in my timeline to defend prohibition, cops and state violence. So I thought that perhaps my language was too complex for them; however, I have trouble with simple language, so I decided to enlist the help of the late, great Theodore Geisel to rephrase my feelings on the matter.
Cops are glam
I’m a fan!
Police-state fans!
Police-state fans!
I do not like police-state fans!
Don’t you like the smell of ham?
I do not like it, Fan-I-am.
I do not like those thugs of ham.
Would you like them here or there?
I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like police-state fans.
I do not like them, Fan-I-am.
Would you like them in a house?
Would you like them with a mouse?
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like police-state fans!
I do not like them, Fan-I-am.
Would you like them in a box?
Would you like them with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like police-state fans.
I do not like them, Fan-I-am.
Would you? Could you? In their car?
Lick their nice boots! Here they are.
I would not, could not, in a car.
You may like them. You will see.
You may like them in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like police-state fans.
I do not like them, Fan-I-am.
A camp-bound train!
A camp-bound train!
Could you, would you, on a train?
Not in a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Fan! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like police-state fans.
I do not like them, Fan-I-am.
Say! In the dark?
In a cell so dark?
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark.
Would you, could you, in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Fan, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
You do not like men made of ham?
I do not like them, Fan-I-am.
Could you, would you, with a goat?
I would not, could not, with a goat!
Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I do not like them in the rain.
I do not like them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
I do not like police-state fans!
I do not like them, Fan-I-am.
You do not like them. So you say.
But I will hound you anyway.
I will not respect your “nay”.
Fan! Since you won’t let me be,
I will mute you. You will see.
I do not like states, threats and ham!
I do not like their spineless fans!
I still avoid them in a boat.
I still avoid them with a goat…
And I still hate them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so bad, so bad, you see!
So I will mute them in a box.
And I will mute them with a fox.
And I will mute them in a house.
And I will mute them with a mouse.
And I will mute them here and there.
Yep, I will mute them anywhere!
I always mute police-state fans!
Fuck you! Fuck you, Fan-I-am!
