summer camp
I am the proud graduate of an all-girls high school. While some of my peers sought boys out, spending time at our brother school down the road, I ended up having limited contact with the opposite sex, since I didn’t actively seek them out. And yet I have worked at an all-boys summer camp every year since I graduated. I think these experiences have given me insight into the nature of sisterhood, brotherhood, and how members of the same gender interact when the opposite sex isn’t present.
Many seem to believe that when in single-sex environments, girls form cliques, are catty, and like to talk about each other behind our backs. This is not true. Women in fact feel free to be bold, messy, and not care about how we look in these environments. If we do decide to dress up, we’re never accused of doing so to impress a boy. Girls are the leaders in the classroom, on the sports field, on the stage, and in clubs. Girls are the brains, the class clowns, the troublemakers, and the teacher’s pet. It’s a feminist dream. You don’t have to shave— unless you’re doing it for yourself. Makeup is the exception, not the norm. We can openly talk about women’s issues. We protect each other; we make fun of each other. It’s a sisterhood.
There’s an ongoing debate about the benefits of single-sex education but, as a product of it, I can confidently say that I would not be the same person without my all girls’ experience. I am who I am because I was able to spend four years of my life with peers and role models who let me know I was much more than what I wore or how I looked. Besides siblings and the gift of life, my all girls school education is the best thing my parents have ever given me.
The week leading up to graduation, all seniors take part in exit interviews. That day in May of 2012 I was taken aback when my interviewer asked if I felt I was going to be disadvantaged compared to peers in college when it came to interacting with male classmates. I hadn’t given it any thought. After mulling it over for a few seconds, I honestly answered no, I did not think my lack of contact with boys for the last four years would negatively impact me in college. In fact, I believe my all girls education gave me more confidence inside and outside of the classroom— and not just with boys, with teachers, peers, administration, and coaches.
This proved to be true during my time at an all boys camp. There were certainly times that I felt out of place as a girl in an all boys environment. I often felt like I was intruding on some secret brotherhood, which led me to wonder if the male teachers at my high school felt this way as well. Male counselors and campers would apologize to me after burping or farting in my presence, for example, since boys (particularly ones between the ages of 8 and 14) seem to think girls don’t do those things. Little do they know that burps and farts are just as prevalent among girls.
Boys’ camp is a boys’ club. It’s a place for college age young men to be positive role models for boys (as they should be). They teach them how to sail, how to shoot a bow and arrow, but also how to make friendship bracelets, and how to express emotions. As girls are told to be pretty, boys are told to be tough. Some might be quick to judge all boys environments, claiming they’re exclusive and sexist. In some instances this may be true, but in my experience single sex environments are incredibly beneficial for both boys and girls.
Some think the role of a female at a boys’ camp is that of a mother. While this is somewhat true, particularly for the younger campers, I believe it is my responsibility to show them that girls can do everything they see their male counselors doing and considered the role a unique opportunity to demonstrate to these boys what it means to be a strong, independent woman. I think it was important for them to see that male counselors and female staff members can be friends, and that boys and girls are capable of platonic relationships built on mutual respect. I wanted them to know that when they throw a spider at me, I’m not going to scream— just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I’m afraid of bugs. I wanted to play soccer with them, teach them how to be creative in pottery, be the lifeguard that jumps in and saves them when they can’t finish the swim test, and be a shoulder to cry on when they were homesick.
Ultimately, four years at an all girls school and three summers at an all boys camp has taught me this: When the other gender isn’t around, we feel free to be the person we want to be, not to conform to gender stereotypes. And honestly, boys and girls (in isolation) are very similar.
Having had the experiences of witnessing both genders in relative isolation, I feel all young people should be given the chance to learn about themselves in a single sex environment. The personal growth we experience when we’re not strictly bound by gender roles carries over into the “real world” (mixed gender settings) and both males and females benefit from time spent in a gender segregated learning environment.
