It is one of the days when I like to Google random queries and expect the answers to change my life. One such question is "Should I have a second baby?" This is one of the questions that I always want to dodge when I am pressed to answer. I have one already and she is quite a handful!
When you are done with one child, after the world gives you a breather of 2-3 years, it thinks that now is a great to time to ask about the entry of the second one. I cannot count the number of instances at social gatherings that I have been asked about good news. Agreed, I still carry my c-section paunch, but no it is just fat and not a another baby in there!
We are a regular middle class couple where the mother took a break from her high flying career (who am I kidding here!) to take care of her inkling. We are still staying in rented apartments and I don't have any qualms about it. But, it was my landlords horrid and rude behavior that triggered the "house wanting" woman in me. I was after my husband's life to make a decision and get started with house hunting.
While poor him was busy doing that, I was faced with a very critical question. What if I want a second baby? Should I have a second baby? Is it required that I have a second baby? I had to beckon the paper and pen and come up with logical reasonings. Here they are
The pros to this beautiful question and why you should have a second baby -
First child has company
The most common reason that every other person will quote for having a second baby. My BIL has two kids and the pure love and admiration that both the kids have for each other is so adorable (I can literally feel my heart melting!).
Easier the second time
All experienced moms swear by it! It is easier the second time. You are not as panicked as you are imagining it to be with the second one. Everything just is much more calmer with the second one.
Bond to cherish after you are gone
Oh this one melts me! Many times I wonder about this question and it hurts to imagine my little baby in the world all alone. Of course she will have friends and eventually, a husband. But, the thought that she won't have much of a sister or brother to open her heart to makes me cringe.
Teaching values and manners
The older sibling acts like a mini-mom around the younger one and I love it! You are no longer constantly panicking about keeping the child entertained. Say hello to the older sibling!
Then after I was sobbing with happiness imagining the unborn second child, I heard my brain nudging me to list down the cons. Really! Is there a need? Nonetheless, here they are -
Going through labor pain
Yikes!! I am literally shuddering with the thought. I had a c-section, but even that was no bed of roses. Going through the entire ordeal of morning sickness, heaviness, flatulence and finally ending it with the c-section does not seem like an appealing thought.
Expenses
Accept it! Two kids is double the expenses. You might save here and there with reuse, but after a point even that reuse will end. Planning is crucial before taking this step.
Having it only for sake of the first child
I personally would want a compelling reason to bring the second child into this world. The reason should not be merely to entertain or keep company to my first one. I want to have a second baby because I WANT ONE.
Your body will lose the last ounce of elasticity it had
Call me as shallow as you want to but I like to have a body that wobbles a little less. Going through pregnancy a woman's body changes a great deal and going through it all over again will definitely take things to the south.
Sibling Rivalry/Jealousy
You will be required to be the referee in all the fights. No matter what sides you take, you will remain biased to at least one of the child.
The choice of having a second baby should always be yours as a mother. Your spouse can raise his reasons, but he or the world is not the deciding body here. The whole process of parenting will be on your shoulders, no matter how much your family and spouse wants to chip in. The changes in your body and your emotional health is something that you will have to deal with. Don't make a decision of having another baby because someone tells you that you must for the sake of your child. Don't get bullied into these decisions!
Babies are babies! More will always be merrier. But, be practical, rational and trust your gut. All the other parameters are dependent on how happy you are as a mother with your decision of having or not having another baby.
What do you moms feel about this topic? Share your views!
