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Shakespeare's Casting Couch

By Ashleylister @ashleylister
 by Ashley Lister
Shakespeare's Casting Couch
Now old Shaky Bill
Had a very long quillAnd wrote plays filled with kings, queens and knightsBut in those bygone days,To play in his plays,You first had to get in his tights.
Of course it helped no endThat Shakespeare liked menHe chose all those that liked his caresses.(His roles for womenAre surprisingly thinAnd were all played by blokes who wore dresses).
Now it might sound rudeAnd it’s possibly crudeTo say this was how he cast his playsBut we’ve all watched TVAnd it’s quite plain to seeThat’s how most stuff’s still cast nowadays.
I’ve seen those folksWho’re in Hollyoaks, And I’ll try saying this with some tactThe show does well on balanceBut the cast have no talents:No one’s on there because they can act.
This same problem plagued BillThough he bore no ill will –He’d hold auditions backstage and disrobeAnd he’d say to each playerAs he took off each layer:“I’ve got a large part for you in the Globe.”

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