For Christmas, Santa has brought you menacing stuffies with blood-red eyes. Plus, they are infested with rodents.
"Hello Jibboo! Have we met before in another creepy, dark alley?
Why do you peck me in the duodenum with your awful beak?"
Greetings! Is this the hindquarters of the Pickle Creature, or its forequarters? Either way, it's damnably happy!
"Dance, monkey, dance!" chortled lascivious old Grandfather Bunny. And the bunnies leapt to his foul command.
"Enter my lair and feast on my trotters! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!"
(The Party Pig would have been an awesome blog name. Damn!)
"Then there were dolls—dolls with blue eyes and yellow curls,
dolls with brown eyes and brown curls,
and the funniest little toy clown you ever saw...."
"Kill, kill, KILL!"
"Mmm, what up, Danny Beaver? It's so hot, Danny Beaver," groaned Rabbit. "Come sit in the grass with me. You like my fluffy white tail? You wanna get you summa that? Maybe you like a lick-a my ice cream? "
"My nice monkey friends skinned me! I will now watch my skin dangling from a telephone wire. That's really weird."
