Sports Magazine

Say You’ll Go Slow, Joe.

By Jhop

Say You’ll Go Slow, Joe.I have been worried for awhile now, waiting for something like this to happen. But can it possibly get more cliché?! He is so old that he broke his hip on the field! Football is already a dangerous sport, even for able-bodied men who were born, you know, after the Great Depression. Paterno is an incredible man, a legendary coach, and he has had such an admirable career. But most men don’t live past the age of 80. He has already had four extra years. So let’s not be greedy or test fate. How awful will it be for the next player who accidentally runs into him? He will forever be known as Joe Paterno’s murderer. And, sadly, this is not the first time that he has been injured on the field. In 2006, a player ran into him during the Wisconsin game and broke his leg. There is a reason that nursing homes do not plan group activities involving contact sports. Coach Paterno, please take a bow before it’s too late. You deserve it. And, quite frankly, you are becoming a liability. I don’t have much time, guys, so I apologize for the short post.  I have to go meet with a Dominican hooker now. Fun times, I know.  So have a great afternoon and please return tomorrow when CDTF will be back in full swing. 

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