So often when we struggle, we play a loop over and over in our heads, “I shouldn’t be struggling with this.”
“If I were smarter, I’d have figured this out”
“If I were more _____ and less _____, I wouldn’t be struggling”
We start to believe that we’re struggling because there’s something wrong with us.
The struggle itself actually pales in comparison to this belief that we shouldn’t be struggling.
Wrestling with that is what leaves us with no gas in our tanks.
And, it makes our struggle that much worse.
And sadly, that’s the part that we refuse to let go.
Even long after our struggle has ended, we still hang onto that belief.
After we take a few deep breaths, savor our victory, and relish our success… after the struggle is over… we often turn promptly around and disrespect all that struggle we bravely fought through.
Even though we’ve reached the end of our suffering, we hold onto our disdain and the belief that we shouldn’t have been struggling.
And if we come across another person with the same struggle, sometimes we even use it against them.
We use it as a weapon to protect ourselves from the reminder of where we once stood. We use it as proof that we’re different from them, better maybe.
“You shouldn’t be struggling”
“It was easy”
“If you were more like me, you’d have figured it out by now”
“I’m smarter than you”
“I’m more ____ than you are”
“I didn’t let myself off the hook when I was struggling, so I’m sure as hell not going to let you”
Instead, we need to give our struggle a little more respect.
We need to remember it and honor it.
Remember every single one of the details, as painful as they may be.
And, give ourselves more credit.
Because, the struggle was real.
And, we survived.
We’re warriors.
And, now it’s time to help others rise.
Create more warriors.
Because, struggle deserves respect.
We’re smart, savvy, clever humans.
We’re ambitious, strong, and compassionate beings.
If we are struggling, it’s because the struggle is real.
So, acknowledge the struggle.
And, use the memory of it to become a better teacher, a better leader, a better friend.
Don’t bury it inside you.
Don’t roll your eyes.
Don’t avoid it.
Don’t trash it.
Don’t treat it like it’s small and insignificant.
Don’t talk down to it as if it were beneath you.
Don’t be condescending.
Don’t pretend it doesn’t exist.
Show some respect.
