The Republican Party used to contain some folks with a smidgen of intelligence, kindness, common sense and patriotism. Today Republicans so described are far and few between. The Republican Party is the Wingnut Party, comprised of kooks, nasties, ignoramuses, contrarians, and unpatriotic SOB's.
But on occasion, Republicans make us smile. Not because they've done anything decent or worthwhile, but because their actions make them look like idiots.
The State of Missouri has always had a reputation. Not necessarily a good one. Stubborn, the people of Missouri have been called, and they're proud of it. Now we can call some of them ignoramuses and stupids. Especially the ones elected to the state legislature. These bright and shining numbnuts just passed a law which "nullifies all federal gun laws in their state." This, at the same time as another shooting at Fort Hood!
The bill is, of course, against the law and the Constitution. But some folks in Missouri never got the word they lost the Civil War and that federal law trumps state law every time! Missouri state troopers don't like this law at all as Missouri is home to a number of ultra-crazy militia type groups who have all the smarts of dog poop, and tend to violence like a crazed polar bear.
The bill allows the good folks of Missouri to sue agents of the federal government if the latter attempt to enforce any federal gun laws. OK, that's kind of funny. But less funny is the fact it allows people with concealed gun permits to carry their weapons in the open even in cities witch disallow such a thing. And now a 19-year old can get a concealed carry permit (down from 21).
The idiot sponsoring the bill in the House is Doug Funderburk, a Republican, naturally. He does not understand the Second Amendment and claims "This is what our founding fathers intent was ...and this is how we push back on a federal government that is running out of control."
The only group out of control in this case are the kooks in the Missouri Legislature!
Our southern states have always been on the brink of wingnuttery but some of us hoped that might change, you know, after the Civil War and the Civil Rights Act, and the move into the modern age. But nooooooo. Mississippi, with the most pregnant teens in the country, just got around to instituting sex education in the schools. Of course, the definition of sex education in Mississippi leaves something to be desired.
In Oxford, Mississippi, "The new curriculum ... has teachers giving Peppermint Patties to the students, having them unwrap them, and then passing them around. Once a piece of chocolate makes it around the classroom, students are told that when they have sex, they're like that dirty piece of candy."
Isn't that funny? I sometimes think it would have been a good thing if the "South" had successfully seceded. But then, they'd need all kinds of foreign aid from the United States; even more than they get now! And lots of mental health care.
Indiana Senator Dan Coats may be be suffering from some disease or perhaps he's been a Republican too long. He went to a hearing on Capitol Hill and sat there for an hour. "[...] when he took his turn Wednesday afternoon, [he started] flipping papers on his lap, reading from them and commending the witness for his department's prompt response to a letter Coats had sent about a military accounting office in his home state."
But the moron was in the wrong hearing! And he didn't realize it until one of his staffers handed him a note.
Ha, ha, ha.
Alan West. You may remember him. The crazy former Congressman from Florida. Well, he's written a book. Hell, I didn't even know he could read! The book is called "Guardian of the Republic." It describes his political thinking and incorporates a bunch of quotes WHICH ARE FALSE!
For example, he claims Thomas Jefferson said "A government big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take it away." Heh, heh. A phony quote. And there's more just like it.
But Alan West has never felt bounded by the truth and typical of Republicans, he just makes things up to support his neatherthandalic beliefs and bolster his ignorant stupidness!
Florida again. If you wish to see wingnuttery in spades, come to Florida. We've got that insane "Stand your ground" law, which allows people to murder other people (e.g., Zimmerman) without any consequences.
Now, because some media types have started digging into the background of these "Stand your ground" cases, our moronic State Legislature has passed a bill closing those files to all further access.
Republicans claim to be defenders of freedom, but in almost every instance where freedom is an issue, they vote for the opposite!
Ha, ha, ha. Again we're in the South. North Carolina. A candidate for the 6th Congressional was asked by a 6th-grader how he would defend the rights of LGBT folks. Mr. Phil Berger, Jr., the candidate in question and the Rockingham County District Attorney, said he supported "traditional marriage," and same-sex marriage was like "a man marrying a dog."
Isn't that funny. Oh, Mr. Berger is a Republican. He's also a joke.
Also from North Carolina, a bastion of science education and knowledge. I'm being sarcastic. Charles Sutherland is retired. He used to own a business. He's pretty much an ignorant fool but proud of it. Mr. Sutherland said that when it comes to climate change, "we're heading into another Ice Age, not getting warmer. We need to prepare for that."
My god that's so funny. Republicans are really comical.
Paul Rosenberg, writing for Salon, wonders why fundamentalist Christians who claim to take the Bible literally, don't also believe the earth is flat and fixed, for the Bible is quite clear that is the case. I also wonder how the Creationists deal with the fact that the "firmament" or "expanse," in Genesis is said to provide a divide in the waters where earth could exist. The expanse above is the sky. Above the sky is water.
Even Creationists ought to be able to see this is not a literal description of the way things are!
This from Daily Kos. Another funny Republican: Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Last week he refused to allow a reporter cover one of his press conferences. The reporter was from Kentucky, Ms. McConnell's home state.
Last June this strong supporter of the First Amendment told how he "spoke at the American Enterprise Institute and warned of a grave and growing threat to the First Amendment. That threat has not let up."
Yup. McConnell's so funny. He's one of the threats!
Gun Owners of America. This is a very funny group. They want to repeal all "gun-free" zones in the United States! Their rationale is that if everyone is armed and someone starts shooting everybody else can pull out their weapon and kill the first shooter.
That's why last year a very funny Texas Republican Congressmen, Steve Stockman, introduced a bill to repeal the ban on carrying firearms on military bases. He thinks that if civilians can be armed, military personnel should be able to carry weapons on their posts.
So, the recent shooting at Fort Hood would have turned out much differently if only there were a bunch of soldiers carrying weapons when the shooter started shooting. You could have had ten or twenty people shooting. Maybe a hundred dead instead of three.
God, what a fun time!
Some wingnuts in Georgia want to allow people to carry guns while attending church. Hmm...if the preacher is saying something you don't like, just plug the bastard. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Some good guys. Well, actually, good girls. Sort of. The National Coalition of American Nuns has expressed support of the Affordable Care Act. As part of that support the nuns have publicly backed the Obamacare mandate that insurance companies provide contraceptive devices, etc.
A wingnut, Michael Hichborn, who represents the American Life League, got all hot and bothered about these "renegade" nuns and claims they are not good Catholics. "It remains to be seen," said the wingnut Hichborn, "how they can call themselves even Catholic, let alone nuns, considering that they support abortion, birth control, homosexuality, women's ordination. I mean, they've filled themselves up so much with their own immoral agenda that they've left absolutely no room for Christ."
Now you've got to admit that's hilarious. Can you find a single reference by Jesus to abortion, birth control, homosexuality or women's ordination?
Go nuns!
Star Parker. She'd be funny if she weren't so damn dense and so damn unChristian. She thinks that the black Congresswoman, Barbara Lee, is so liberal she can't see that Paul Ryan is no racist when he blames black culture and idle black men for failing to be more like Paul Ryan and his Wall Street pals - you know, rich and white.
Star Parker is also black. A female Uncle Tom. The problem, says Ms. Parker, is not racism but liberalism. And Mr. Ryan is not a racist, but a "real reformer." Ryan, the one with the budget balanced on the backs of the poor!
I wonder if Ms. Star blames the latest recession on liberals, too: All those "liberals" on Wall Street who destroyed our economy and the 1% percent "liberals" who are destroying the middle class and the chance of most everybody to achieve the so-called "American Dream"?
Poverty-stricken blacks, according to Ms. Parker, are in that situation became of liberalism. Racism had nothing to do with it. Especially in the south. I mean those slave owners and the Strom Thurmonds always treated their blacks folks right. Right?
And what we need right now, says Parker, is Paul Ryan, "who wants to make Americans of all backgrounds better off by giving them more freedom, more choice, more responsibility, and less government."
Just don't give them any money like the damn liberals want to do!
Star Parker really isn't funny.
Here's another really humorous guy. He's Dr. Alex McFarland, who is connected to the Center for Chritian Worldview and Apologetics at North Greenville Univeristy. McFarland has the answer: The recent shooting at Fort Hood happened because we are not longer a "real" Christian nation.
After WWII, says this genius, "Christianity was the core of the community." [I know that wasn't true because I was living then, and McFarland wasn't.] And his statement that "the post-World War II generation" had a "Christian mental view," which meant that when people "were at the very end of their tether," they "would turn to God," is pure, unadulterated hogwash.
Pshaw. The Fort Hood shooting happened, says Mac, because "we've told generations of public school students that there is no creator God, there's purposeless evolution - and now since 1973, we've murdered ten times more human beings than Adoph Hitler through abortion."
Of course, that's why Ivan Lopez bought a gun and began shooting folks at Fort Hood. It's amazing. Thank you Dr. McFarland.
Except, as with many Christianist wingnuts, McFarland doesn't worry about truth. The fact is, there were a number of shootings in this country in the years following WWII: Howard Unruh, a WWII vet in Camden, New Jersey, took a German Luger and shot 13 people in 1949. Charles Whitman, in 1966, at the University of Texas, killed 16, etc.
Finally, back to Florida. Remember our "Stand your Ground" law. Well, for Florida legislators, that's not enough. They are freaking gun crazy! The State Legislature has passed a "warning shot bill." That means that you can fire a warning shot at someone if you fear for your life and not be charged under the current law, which is fairly severe - from 10 years in prison to life in prison.
Can you imagine? We'll have all kinds of crazies firing "warning" shots and most of the time these folks will shoot themselves in the foot or the head, but every once in a while they're going to shoot someone else dead.
Some large questions arise. How much in fear for your life do you have to be? How close does the aggressor need to get before you can fire a warning shot? How many warning shots can you shoot? One? Ten? Twenty?
This bill now heads to the governor, Rick Scott. He's a triple-digit wingnut and not funny at all so it is likely he'll sign the thing.
