Remember when the vampire got staked in the bathtub in Lost Boys? Well, I’m four days late and it feels like I have a ticking bomb in my uterus.
I’m not pregnant. Unless that 5 days of blood last month was actually some painless flesh wound in my vagina I wasn’t aware of. (Shut up. YOU try getting it on with any regularly with a baby staring at you in the crib at the end of the bed and your MIL across the hall).
This irregularity is really a bitch. I used to be able to set my watch by my cycle. We’re going to try to make another gorgeous child this summer and I need this shit predictable.
