Humor Magazine

Religious Weddings

By Killmenow @lbigfoot

Welcome to my site. You may want to check out my book, "Kill Me Now!". Thanks for visiting!

I had occasion last week to hear from someone who attended an ultra orthodox religious Jewish wedding, a Haredi wedding. You really have to read this story, it is too weird to make up. I never knew that religious weddings could be so entertaining.


Religious weddings
In the Haredi world, there are arranged marriages. They are not really allowed to think much for themselves, they rely on their rabbi for guidance. Don’t kill the messenger, this is the way it works. So a young couple are matched and they get together and after three dates, they get engaged. Once they are engaged, they do not meet again for a full year. What they do in this year is anyone’s guess. But at they end of that year, they get married and hopefully live happy ever after.

You need to read my book, “Kill Me Now!” for another religious wedding story.

And now for the story.

The young lady in question, call her Wilma, is an orphan. Poor lady. It is tough not being able to consult with a parent. I know how she feels. So Wilma was to wed Fred last week. Wilma goes to the beautician and gets ready for her coming nuptials and is over the hills with happiness. A year has gone by and she has not seen her Fred.

What about Fred? Well, during this year, Fred got cold feet. He did not want to get hitched. His Rabbi could not convince him.I wonder what will happen to him. But now the Rabbi has a dilemma. There is poor Wilma about to get married, but no one to marry!

The solution

The Rabbi called some of his Rabbi brethren and each one of them approached their Yeshiva students, which is an institute for in-depth studies of Jewish scripture. Going to each school they asked for a volunteer to marry Wilma that day, sight unseen. Eventually one young lad of the right age, Barney, agreed to get hitched.

So, last week, Wilma married Barney and that was the first time they saw one another!

Did they live happily ever after? Ask me in ten years time when I am over the astonishment.

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog