First dates are a prime location for red flags. Some people aren't looking for them and some people are, but either way they find their way into first dates. They can make or break the potential for a relationship. They can even squelch the possibility of a second date.What are some red flags you ask?
One is general creepiness. Did your date mention your body/figure/physique several times out of context? Hint at sex? Are they trying to be slick? Did your date mention something about you that they could only find out by looking you up online and was something you haven't told them about? They are creepy. They are concerned with having sex with you and are trying too hard.
Another is mentioning previous relationships. If your date is telling a funny story about something that happened to them in high school that involved a girlfriend. No problem. Mentioning that they broke up with their girlfriend of five years a month ago? That's a red flag. Still referring to that person as a girlfriend, not an ex? Red flag. Maybe they're still not over that person.
The purpose of going out on dates is to get to know someone and to see if there is attraction or chemistry between you and the other person.You're not only looking for those things, but you're also looking to see if they're not there. Lack of attraction or chemistry are both major red flags that can come out of the first few dates.
Sometimes, my girlfriends and I try to justify those elements not being present between us and a guy we went on a date with by saying "But he's just such a nice guy," "He's really easy to talk to," "It seemed like we had a lot in common."
Those all might be true, but none of those can make a relationship work alone. To be blunt, the bottom line is if you don't want to have sex or be intimate with the other person, it's never going to work. If you don't want to be intimate with another person, that's called a friendship.
How many red flags does it take to decide to not further anything between you and the other person? Well it depends. It could take just one major red flag or several smaller red flags that add up that make you question that person.
If you are looking for a relationship and wanting to settle down, you might not want to ignore or justify away those red flags. If something seems off or not right, that's your gut speaking to you.
xoxo Nickie
