James Pennebaker, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, believes it’s possible to analyze the power dynamics in relationships based on who uses the word “I” more often. It turns out that we use the first person singular more when we talk to someone with power because we’re more insecure and focused on ourselves. When we’re fixated on how we’re coming across, our language reflects that lack of confidence.
To illustrate this phenomenon, take a look at Pennebaker’s correspondance with a student:
Dear Dr. Pennebaker:
I was part of your Introductory Psychology class last semester. I have enjoyed your lectures and I’ve learned so much. I received an email from you about doing some research with you. Would there be a time for me to come by and talk about this?
Pam
And then Pennebaker’s response:
Dear Pam -
This would be great. This week isn’t good because of a trip. How about next Tuesday between 9 and 10:30. It will be good to see you.
Jamie Pennebaker
Now take a look at an email Pennebaker wrote to a famous professor:
Dear Famous Professor:
The reason I’m writing is that I’m helping to put together a conference on [a particular topic]. I have been contacting a large group of people and many have specifically asked if you were attending. I would absolutely love it if you could come… I really hope you can make it.
Jamie Pennebaker
And the professor’s response:
Dear Jamie -
Good to hear from you. Congratulations on the conference. The idea of a reunion is a nice one …and the conference idea will provide us with a semi-formal way of catching up with one another’s current research… Isn’t there any way to get the university to dig up a few thousand dollars to defray travel expenses for the conference?
With all best regards,
Famous Professor
Pennebaker says that he was surprised with these personal examples, because he thought he would never talk to people differently based on their social status. While this research sheds light on our relationships with others, Pennebaker doesn’t believe that we can use it to change ourselves, since “words reflect who we are more than drive who we are.” Explore more of Pennebaker’s findings here on his website.
(Source: NPR)
