Humor Magazine

Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too.

By Dianelaneyfitzpatrick

Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Everyone loves a pregnant woman right? According to these photos that I found on iVillage and Awkward Family Photos, being pregnant doesn’t exempt a woman from making bad photo pose choices.
I, for one, am glad that pregnant women are allowed to show the shape of their stomachs. When I was pregnant, we had to wear the costume of a 12-year-old Catholic school girl to disguise our pregnancies. But then pregnant women had to go and take it one step further, and start showing their naked stomachs. Three words: T.M.I. And then there are these people:
Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Get that feather away from me. And take off that bracelet, or I’ll let my water break on your side of the bed. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. “I can do it, but I’m gonna need a semi-automatic, a watermelon and a maternity peasant dress.” (If MacGyver were preggers.)
Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Janice never showed her true feelings about the fact that her husband had a bigger bump and bigger breasts than her. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Hockey moms gone wild! No, really, the third son pushed her right over the edge and she’s actually lost her mind. If this isn't photo evidence, I don't know what is. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Greg always felt like an out-of-focus background character in his wife and daughter’s life. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Thank God for maternity sports bras. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. I don’t like that look on her face at all. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. You’ll want to show this photo to the baby when he gets older and begins to question just how big of a dork his dad is. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. While you’re at it, picture yourself with bangs and more defined pecs, too. (Your baby isn’t going to look anything like that, by the way.) Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. The worst part is, these are tattoos. Alert the circus: Couple with baby coming in for audition. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. The pregnancy gave Melissa the temperament to play both the White Swan and the Black Swan almost simultaneously. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Florida Governor Rick Scott, in a photo that never came out in the campaign, miraculously. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. “Honey, could you pleeeeeease change the tire this time?” “Oh, honey, I can’t. I’m naked and pregnant.” Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Is it just me, or does this guy seem to be more interested in the boobs than in the baby?  Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too.
Sometimes it’s hard to find a comfortable position when you’re pregnant. So take a tip from our friend the sloth and try balancing on a tree branch. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too.
The women I can almost forgive: Between the hair loss, face break-outs, mood swings, loss of bodily functions, and deprivation of all alcohol, caffeine and a decent cold medicine, you can hardly blame an expectant mother’s choice of photo poses. But the husbands? No excuse. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Carol soon realized that a game of hide-and-seek was going to be much more complicated for the next few months. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too. Celebrating our love . . . and celebrating the fact that my husband’s gut is bigger and more full of beer than mine. Pregnancy Can Be a Beautiful Thing. Or You Could Ruin That, Too.
What’dja do, put Skittles in there?

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