It’s been a while since we’ve done a post, what with the holidays (always a good excuse!), planning a wedding, getting things ready for my play reading, “In the Fold,” and continuing our preparations for the children…who has time to write? But because our dear friend Chuck, who has gently been nudging us, I’m finally sitting down to update everyone on the latest developments. So make yourself a cup of tea, or pour a glass of wine, and get some tissues (Chuck!), and settle in for what I hope will be a good read!
After the home inspection Jim and I attended a Kinship Adoption class, which was a total of twelve hours of classroom time over four weeks. Even though this wasn’t a requirement for us, since we would be fostering/adopting relatives, both of us wanted something a little more tangible, especially since we had never been parents before. We showed up for our first class at the Riverside County Social Services offices in Indio, CA. For those not familiar with the Palm Springs area, Indio is about 25 miles east of Palm Springs and has a large Latin population. There were a couple of things we noticed right away. The most obvious was that we were pretty much the only Caucasians in the group, and we were definitely the only same sex couple. It seemed the educating was going to extend past “kinship adoption.” As everyone went around the room to make introductions we quickly realized we were the only couple who did not have children living with them already. Everyone else in the class (mostly grandparents) already had their child/children and were in transition to adopt. Is it weird to be attending a kinship adoption class and feel that other people are envious of you because you don’t have kids?
During our first break we had two grandparents approach us to ask if it was permissible for people who have “partners” to foster/adopt. During the introductions Jim and I introduced ourselves as the partner of the other, so the use of “partners” became code word for “gay.” Within the first hour of class we had already educated other members of the group that “partner” can be synonymous with “gay,” and that gay people can foster/adopt children in the state of California! Only eleven more hours to go. It could have been worse, we could have been required to take the standard courses to become foster parents, which is 32 hours of classes. All joking aside, everyone in the class was delightful and we all had a good time during the four weeks we were together (Jim got to miss the last class because grad school had started).
In addition to all of the paperwork and classes, we also had to get fingerprinted, take a CPR and First Aid course (Jim was already certified), and follow-up diligently with our social worker. It all paid off though because by the end of October we had received our official letter from Riverside County stating we were approved to be foster parents…Yay! We had finished the entire process in just under three months. Another version of the letter was delivered to Washoe County, which was perfect timing since there was a court hearing on November 9th in Reno for a judge to determine if the parents would continue to work their re-unification plan or if terminating parental rights (TPR) would get underway.
On November 9th we received a call from the social worker in Reno telling us the hearing had been postponed until December 1st because the public defender for my sister (the biological mother) was going on maternity leave and there needed to be a replacement. Additionally, the biological father was apparently having major conflicts with his attorney (no surprise there) so a new one had to be assigned and have time to get caught up with the case. If you’ve ever been involved in any type of a legal matter then you know that things rarely get accomplished on the dates they are supposed to. It seems that if a judge gets a hangnail then that is sufficient reason to have a hearing postponed.
Several days prior to December 1st I received a request to speak with my sister’s public defender. I checked with the social worker in Reno to find out if this is something that was on the “up and up.” After checking with her district attorney she said it was up to me if I wanted to speak with the public defender or not. Jim and I talked about this and I thought “why not” give her a shout and have a little insight into what is going on with the other side. I ended up calling her right before Thanksgiving and got her voicemail. When I didn’t hear back from her by the day before the hearing I thought the conversation wouldn’t happen after all. Never under estimate an attorney, especially if they’re from the opposing side. About two hours before the hearing was scheduled to begin she called me back. Was she just too busy or was this part of her strategy? “I submit that the circumstantial evidence suggests strategy, your honor!” The conversation went okay…it wasn’t the best phone conversation I’ve had, and it certainly wasn’t the worst. However, it was the first time I’ve spoken to an attorney while wearing my bath robe!
The hearing was scheduled to begin at 10:20am. So throughout the day we kept waiting for a phone call or an e-mail from the social worker to let us know how things went. It wasn’t until around 3:30pm that my cell phone rang with a 775 area code…this was the call. I’ll spare you all of the specifics of the call, because to be quite honest it took about four days to really get a good handle on what actually transpired during the hearing. The net-net of it all is the judge was giving the biological parents a three month extension to continue to work their re-unification plans, even though the judge said she didn’t think it was going to make a difference. Normally when there is an extension it’s usually for six months, so the fact this was only for three months was actually a good sign. However, the judge also concurrently ordered the County to prepare the termination of parental rights paperwork and have it ready to be submitted at the next hearing date, which gives some indication that the judge feels TPR is very likely. But most importantly, the judge granted placement of the children with Jim and I. At first we thought placement wouldn’t happen until after March 8th (the next hearing date), but we quickly learned that the County wanted to place the children in our home as soon as possible. It was time to put together a transition plan, and very quickly!–Thomas L-L
