Like Paris Disneyland, Astérix is a huge theme park less than an hour from Paris. It has crowds and long lines and attractions and shows. But if you would go to Disney, why not try something différent?
I love Parc Astérix because it's unique and witty in a very French way. You can like it because of the rides (it actually has more real rides than Disney and several are water rides, great on a hot day) or because you haven't seen anything like it before (if you're not French). It's based on the cartoon characters of the indomitable Gaulish warriors Astérix and Obélix, their opponent Julius Caesar, and their world: ancient Roman times. The park is divided into sections with themes of Rome, Greece, Gaul, Vikings, Paris in the Middle Ages (a bit anachronistic) or Egypt, and the rides have names like "Thunder of Zeus" -- the scariest wooden rollercoaster I've ever been on, where you feel as if you're going off a cliff-- or the new one "OzIris"-- an inverted rollercoaster which opened this year. Astérix has the biggest rollercoasters in Europe.
The sign at the parking lot sets the tone:
As you walk down the Roman road into the park, you see Latin graffiti on the wall and the bank (a real ATM) is called Creditum Lugdunum instead of Crédit Lyonnais.
Not Disney Village!
"What are you doing for the next XXX years? My secret service is recruiting! Rome wants YOU!"
"Welcome to Gaul, a Roman province." Underneath: "not completely conquered." The sign at left says "Coming soon, an Arch of Triumph" and the graffiti says, "Julius, if you do that we'll turn you into a Roman ruin." On the right: "Helmet required."
The crowds are French and the shows are in French, not really multilingual like Disney, but dolphins and magic and singing work anywhere. On a summer weekend, if you don't want to wait in a line as long as your freshman year in college, there are simpler attractions.
"Galley for rent. Visit at low tide."
As someone who has graduated to waiting on a bench for the kids to come out of the Grand Splatch or Goudourix, I enjoy looking up and seeing things like this:
or this:
Super hay versus Unleaded hay
or this:
"Correct attire required. Non. Oui."
Two pieces of advice: if you go on a weekend, buy your tickets ahead of time on line and get there early. The park can fill up by 10h and then will close to further visitors. Second, don't get angry if people cut in line in front of you. It will happen, and getting angry will only ruin your day. Instead, just do what the French do and shrug your shoulders. After all, it's not your country-- it's Gaul!
And you know what they say.
