Trust Out On A Limb …
How you trust and what you trust are significantly impacted by the way you can kiss someone and won’t let go! You hold back, you hold back, from the place inside that has been hurt in love, hurt inside and no way of turning back the hands of time to remove the place inside you that expects or better still trusts that you will be hurt.
This is so common and so powerful it just doesn’t effect what happens to you when you are intimate, but it happens when you are able to communicate with anyone.. You will not trust telling them your truths, not trust telling them what you feel because a dismissal of what you feel is going to suffer and it makes you suffer from the suffocation of not being heard, not being understood, not being loved for whatever may come out of you. This strikes your security and hurts you sense of self in the most violent way, your trust is compromised by your thinking and your thinking does the protection of how you suffer. Isn’t this backwards, shouldn’t you be able to share what is going on inside you without feeling broken, without feeling a sense of self that is completely distraught.
So many use the term go with the flow where the flow with them is in disruption! The thinking begins and it becomes a disconnection of the self in ways that no one ever truly sees. This is painful as the pain body becomes awakened by the sense of silence that is placed in a box where inside you are left screaming for not being heard. What does this have to do with Trust you may ask. Well inside you begins the words, no one is listening, no one believes, I can say this or keep this in here, it is best to keep this hidden. You now will have a root that your trust can never flourish because of this belief, because of the words that stay in you that says you can’t speak what you feel. Rejection of the self is the most common form of trust that can be broken.
You will become molded into being a specific way because you think you can’t trust what you feel and you can’t trust that you can tell anyone what you feel. The lies begin to become powerful inside and you will say things that will hurt others without not even seeing that you are only infected with the lies you keep inside. As you find this form of abandonment in what trust is within you, something shifts.. Something is lost, something is silent in you and something is isolated. You then will find a place where you can just be safe inside yourself and unless it is activated, will you activate the broken trust in you.
What is it to activate the broken trust in you? Let’s say you recently are broken up with someone and you got hurt because your trust was impacted, it is not uncommon to say I need time to heal where in the healing process you find fault in something you did or didn’t do and now will say something is wrong with you, you will either be single for a long time, or try and get back out there yet your sense of being able to be with someone will be less than, or more than depending on what happen to your trust in yourself to be with someone else who will not hurt you. You even trust the story that you have experienced and it keeps you from ever truly healing. You don’t trust your own choices, how is that healing? You don’t trust that what you will find in someone else will be their trustworthiness to always be honest with you. To not hurt you like you once were hurt. Your mind is always in active in overdrive, because of what you experienced and it becomes painful to you, not because of them, but because of your sense of self that suffered with no true healing. What is true healing? True healing is the moment you say why don’t I trust? You go into it, you go into what says your trust is broken. Have you experienced something like this only to find that you can’t fix what is broken because you want or need to give responsibility to someone else to fix this! Yet no one will ever be able to get close enough to you because you have stated the core statement of why no one ever will… The statement is I was hurt by someone who betrayed me infecting my trust in them and myself. The ultimate betrayal is not found in what was done to you, but what was done to the sense of self that says you can’t be with anyone else now because of this, or you can’t trust your own choices now because of what has happened.
In every moment you trust… we don’t see it this way but it is the truth. You trust that others who are driving down the same road as you have control over their own vehicle, you trust that the electric company will keep on your electricity, you trust that your internet will not go down before you reach the end of this post.
You see trust is activated in everything we do, yet it remains broken in connection by choices and by not seeing the impact of those choices to our core trust we have in everything. What changes would you make if you could wake everyday and be able to go out on a limb and trust completely?
Would you cry in all moments because your trust was broken? Or would at some point you trust yourself again to trust everything again not being stuck in the time machine of what was and making yourself suffer from a trust that may have been challenged? It should never keep you from the truth of connection or the truth of what trust can give you inside yourself.
When you look at this under the light of how this was written here…
What would you do with the trust you currently have and would you change any part of it? If so when?
Love deeply,
Clark
