The Poor Husband Often Ends Up On The Sofa
I’m exhausted, so tired and I am guessing our sleeping arrangements are proving they are the disaster I know they are.
I take you back to 2 years ago when I was very ill. I suppose becoming mentally ill during my 6th pregnancy did nothing to help the anxiety and panic that would rise bile in my throat at the sheer thought of being separated from any of my youngest three children.
The older children were all put into their own bedrooms at 6 months old. I wasn’t ill then.
I was diagnosed finally with bipolar when I was 4 months pregnant with Kody and these were what I can only describe as months living in hell.
We moved home when Kody was a year old and straight away I took to sleeping downstairs with him. I guess it was the guilt of believing I had let him down, not only him but Kaiden and Kia too. They were all born into a crazy world to a crazy mother. Keeping them so close to me eased some kind of guilt.
Having them within eye range kept me sane enough to actually be able to sleep three or four hours each night.
It is hard to explain why I need them close to me.
My husband hated sleeping upstairs without me and to suit my needs at that time we bought a double sofa that pulled out into a double bed and placed it in the 2nd living room. We bought 3 large travel cots with mattresses to fit and the three youngest sleep downstairs with us. This was only a temporary solution, yet here we still are a year later.
Kia now 4, Kaiden 3 and Kody 2 still sleep in our room, pretty crazy right? Not as crazy as their mum.
I can’t bring myself to put Kody now 2 upstairs into a big boy’s bed and I know this is no good for him. Its no good for me, Kaiden and Kody must both wake at least 3 times each, each night. That’s 6 times my husband and I have to get up and see to them, sometimes it takes an hour to settle them back to sleep.
We are both exhausted
I have agreed to try and separate myself from Kaiden and Kia and at least try them upstairs in their own bedrooms, yet feel guilty doing this. But with Kody, just the thought makes me physically sick. He is still so little.
I have thought about putting the 3 boys in together, Cameron is 9, Kaiden 3 and Kody 2 but then I worry about a safety gate on the door and what happens if Cameron was to leave it open and Kody got out, hes nowhere near confident walking down stairs.
I wish I wasn’t this way, I wish I could be normal. I wish my children didn’t have to live with a mother like me, but they do.
We have 4 bedrooms – We have 6 children
Nakita almost 14
Casey 10
Cameron 9
Kia 4
Kaiden 3
Kody 2
Should the husband and I have a bedroom? Are we OK sleeping on a sofa bed in the living room? Do the children need a bedroom more than us? If kids were to share who would share with who?
As it stands Cameron has a double room, Casey has a double room and Nakita has a double room with en suite, we have a small box room stood empty – The three babies and the husband and I sleep downstairs.
Our sleeping arrangements are a mess. Can you help me?
