My son is eleven in may. Hes nearly as tall as me, he has big blue eyes, blonde hair and the cheekiest smile ever.
Hes top of his class in most subjects excelling in science and geography, drama and art.
He loves his xbox, he loves watching films he shouldnt ( horror) and he loves fishing.
He writes his own comics.
He wants to join the army and be a tactical weapons expert. He wants to design armor and weapons.
My son is amazing.
Ive been his mom for nearly eleven years. I loved him the second I saw him. I worked hard to be the best mom i could be for him.
My son is a virtual stranger to me now. He says living with me as his mom is like being in a nightmare. Tonight he told me he would rather be adopted.
My son has these moods. These moods make him hate me. They make him ignore me for hours for no reason. They make him punch me. They make him threaten to hurt me. He has no idea where they come from or what triggers them off. The child pysch that he saw alone and with me said its not his fault, its not my fault, its just us. We are like thunder and lightning. We cant be around each other too much or we implode on each other.
Every day he scowls at me in the morning and leaves his bowl out for me to trip on. He eats all the cereal. He never says goodbye to me. He gets out late to keep me waiting, he scowls at me and asks me for something he knows I will say no to so he can kick off infront of his teachers and make me look bad. So I shout at him. At home he throws his shoes on the floor, his lunchbox and coat at me and hits his brothers, then shouts at me and storms off.
So I shout back
His dad is at his wits end how he treats me, and everyone says its because I was too soft on him, or because I should have smacked him. Its always me. I failed him somehow.
These moods have ruined my boy. Ive spent a long time thinking, looking back and trying to think back to when I failed him but the truth is I didnt.
I stick it out every day, I tell him ill always stick it out no matter how much he hates me because the son I know, the son I raised hes in there I just need to find him again.
